I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. I used to do 50 hours a week graveyard shifts and study full time during the day, and still went out drinking and partying 3 nights a week as well. At time I was so tired that even my eyelashes ached. But I was young and healthy (and in my 20s) and I got to sleep on my days off. It was manageable, but it was hard going. I've been tired because of stress and burnout, which was worse. I've also been tired because of a chronic illness, which was was much worse. But being tired because of having two colicy fussy babies close in age who didn't sleep more 90 minutes a time (and alternated waking up) was in a league of its own. I was so tired I experienced microsleeps, which is when your body starts rapidly shutting down to try and force you to rest. I didn't drive for three years because I couldn't do it safely. I have signficant memory loss from those years. Being tired sucks across the board, I hope you get a break soon.

@mamamia-user-482898552 that's interesting, my GP recently (this year) tried to convince me to go back on the pill to help with some hormonal fluctations. I mentioned my side effects and her response was "that's rare, maybe you just haven't tried the right pill?". If the information is already out there, maybe the next step is making sure it's getting to the right people?

The introduction of pill made such a huge difference for women by allowing us to control our fertility and unwanted pregnancies, we should never forget that. It's also important medication for a lot of women for different hormonal conditions. But it's worth pointing out that it was tested only on MEN (yes you read that right) before it was introduced and there still isn't enough good quality research on the side effects. I was on various different contraceptive pills from ages 14 to 27 for acne and then birth control. The second generation estrogen pill did fix my acne and all of the different pills I tried did stop me getting pregnant, but they variously also made me fat, depressed, angry, aggressive, dysregulated, insomniac, foggy headed, sweaty, disinterested in sex and all of them gave me crippling IBS. It was the IBS that eventually made me stop entirely with the support of my boyfriend (now husband), who eventually got a vasectomy. More research and support is needed. Medical researchers could start with actually testing, tracking and researching women's responses and side effects.

I honestly think this is one of those "cold hard physical reality" being confusing for people who think life is a all a fluffy construct. No disrespect intended to Abbie. I also had all sorts of fluffy ideas before I had kids. I thought they would come out basically gender neutral and be like putty to be moulded by my enlightened progressive parenting. I couldn't have been more wrong!! Stereotypes aren't the whole story but they exist for a reason. Boys or juvenile male humans (most, not all) interact differently with their mothers than their fathers (assuming they have one of each) and differently from the way girls (most, not all) interact. This is something that's been observed throughout human history and it isn't actually a negative or regressive thing. It's normal "typical" development. I'm a testing ground for my son to develop  relationship skills, nothing weird or gross about it. Whereas my daughter will be on my team (so to speak) her whole life.

@claire.m what is boot scooting? I'm 43 and awaiting an MRI for suspected arthritis in both knees. Any ideas for keeping fit with bad knees are welcome!

Ooh your paragraph about the GP's clumsy comments! We're actually navigating this as a family at the moment. I've always put a lot of effort into breaking down the "pretty people are nicer/smarter/better" and "being fat/ugly makes you a bad person" stereotypes over the years. We talk a lot about bodies being strong and healthy and just right for the person who lives in the body. But I've also gained almost 20 kilos since I turned 35 through nothing other than changed hormones and metabolism. I eat very healthily and much less than I did 10 years ago. My GP (usually so good) fat shamed me and implied it was my fault for eating too much (all it takes is discipline apparently!) when I went to see her recently for help with chronic back pain. So, aware that my weight is affecting my back, I'm now I'm intermittent fasting, and the kids are aware of this and curious. I thought the Bluey episode was perfect. There are negative aspects to being heavier, and it's not helpful or realistic to pretend otherwise.

I had two equally strong reactions at the time - I was horrified (so shocked) and so hurt and upset for Paulini. But also, I could tell by his tone and his hesitation that he was telling her what he believed to be the truth as the industry stood at the time (and probably still does). It was obvious to me that he wanted her to succeed and he was giving her some (what he thought) was genuine advice. It was a "don't hate the player, hate the game" moment. We should be focusing on the music industry being sizist, shallow, misogynist, not on Dicko being truthful. There was a recent article that compared the way Ed Sheeran and Duo Lipa are presented and how Ed gets away with dressing like a bum, but Duo Lipa has to look like she's dressed for a night out at all times. The fact that Lizzo is considered "inspirational" and "groundbreaking" a whole two decades later shows us why Dicko said what he did. Did I agree with it, no, but don't shoot the messenger.

Well done. It's bizarre what upsets people isn't it? (although a woman making a choice that betters her life seems especially triggering for some!). I stopped drinking when I turned 40. I've never really enjoyed it, I don't seem to get the buzz other people do and I just feel drunk and sick really quickly, but there was so much social pressure I couldn't cut it out entirely. But then I got old, Covid hit, and suddenly I had no funks left to give anymore. I've had 3 glasses of wine in 3 years (weddings and a 40th) and I don't miss it at all. It annoyed me that I'd waited so long actually. The only people who objected in real life were people I've never really liked (there's probably a moral in there somewhere...). I usually grab a tall lime and soda when I'm out, or some places have non alcoholic wines now.

Children were welcome at our wedding because that worked for us (and it was lovely), but I absolutely support people who make their weddings an 18+ affair. No one is entitled to be invited to a wedding. Really, weddings are already excruciatingly expensive and full of nerve wracking social minefields. How about supporting the bride and groom to make the day as enjoyable as it can be for them? If there are older children who feel left out, a special family/friends dinner at another date is a good way to address that.

Thank you so much for writing this!! The conversations around these changes have been entirely one way up until now. Any woman who dares to challenge these types of changes is labelled a TERF (note how men aren't negatively affected by these changes,

Hmmm, I don't know... I was required to read up on this case, including the information about the girl, when I worked for a small news outlet and there were a lot of things I found very odd. Like apparently the lady was already referring to her partner in the past tense when she'd just found out he was missing. And apparently she went on to the boat and touched things while the police were still searching it, which meant those items couldn't be tested because they were contaminated. I could see why the police were suspicious. That doesn't necessarily mean she did it of course, but such odd ways to behave.

I don't think you've done yourself any favours by bringing working parents into your argument, because: