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therage June 2, 2024

I'm sorry you have to go through this.

I'm not a single parent. I'm the parent of a child with a disability on NDIS for necessary therapies that I have had to cut to monthly instead of fortnightly because I don't have enough funding and can't afford it otherwise (thanks to increasing costs of everything). I haven't been able to get in touch with NDIS for 6 months to have the issue rectified because we have been playing this kind of phone and email tag. I can't imagine how hard it must be to go through this kind of treatment for various kinds of funding when your home depends on it.

This system is seriously broken.

therage April 1, 2024

I think Millennials look their age - just different hairstyles going on - and maybe you don't think you look that old when it's you?

Kind of like how every kindergarten kid thinks their teacher is so old, even if they're only 20 something and straight out of uni.

As a child in the 8o's, Derryn Hinch looked the same to me then as he does now! I'm sure I look that old to every 20 year old I meet.

therage October 29, 2023

Who even thinks about their nipples this much? If there was any question, I now know. - I am old as hell!

therage October 4, 2023

As someone who grew up in an an awful toxic nuclear family, I wish I grew up in a so called ‘broken home’. Not all regular families are created equal either.

therage August 24, 2023

The worst thing about the education system is that it is run by politicians, not teachers!

How someone who has never stepped foot in a classroom can be education minister is beyond me. The pre requisite for this role must surely be prior experience in education. Instead it's in the hand of governments and pollies known for blowing copious amounts of money on endless back scratching deals, and then making the education and health sectors run on the smell of an oil rag.

We have been lucky enough to have some wonderful, caring, attentive, intelligent teachers for our children in NSW public schools. I hope the grief they cop from every corner doesn't bump them out of the profession.

therage June 20, 2023

This woman is an A+ human being. Absolutely love her.

therage June 14, 2023

Question for the writer or any other high school teachers.

How can I advocate for no homework for my high school child? I'm of the understanding that it's a must, but it is a struggle for him as it was for me, and is, in fact, the thing that makes him hate school. Aside from homework and the constant drain it puts on the family, he loves to learn, as did I.

We have avoided homework up until year 5, and have been working on it since then in the lead up to high school.

Projects are fine, as they are finite and usually have a focus on finding a personal interest and running with it. Even maths and spelling revision is tolerated, as 'the point of it' is understood. It's the constant Q&A and busy work as mentioned in this article that bugs.

Is this something that can even be avoided in High School?

And if so, how!?

therage November 3, 2022

No idea why the judges were so mean to this couple. I feel that their look is more in line with what the average buyer would want. With the treatment Ankur and Sharon and Omar and Oz copped, I have to sY, I wS sitting at home thinking the judge have got to be racist. It’s the same story each time there is an ethnic couple on the show. They are cast as villains/cheaters/crap stylists/ppl who can’t follow rules and the Anglo contestants are golden.

therage October 27, 2022

The price you pay for excellence.

Surgeons, especially neuros and heart surgeons have to be something else. The hardest thing for a family must be to have to roll the dice.

therage October 19, 2022

Please take her to get assessed for Autism or ADHD by a child psychiatrist who is specifically skilled in this space. The combination of hormone changes through puberty, everything kids have been through the last couple of years and any underlying issues which may not be considered otherwise can be a nightmare cocktail for girls with so much going on. Please don't give up on her, I'm certain she feels a million times worse about her behaviour than she is letting on.

therage September 14, 2022

I'm happy to see this, because I know first hand the difference knowing this about yourself can make.

Only one thing I'd like to point out, is that it is in fact a learning disability. It's true, it has no bearing on your IQ, but it can prevent, or make the learning of key concepts incredibly difficult for many, including those with high IQ's. The lack of organisational ability in the brain means missing out on key concepts in the classroom during school that affects a childs/teens/adults performance and ability to 'show what they know,' and therefore self concept greatly. This combination of high IQ and ADHD (or ASD, or other neurodivergence) is known as being 2e, or Twice Exceptional. And it is currently one of the most difficult concepts to get through to school leadership teams at the moment.

Kids with ADHD can do amazingly well with the right supports. However, it is completely misunderstood in (at least our) education system - it's not even an option to select in the enrolment papers of NSW public schools! I believe it's lumped under 'behavioural disorders', which again, it is not necessarily, though it can be for some.

It's not funded on NDIS. It's not understood. When I told my son's high school principal about his diagnosis, I was told it was fashionable. Others have said he can't be because he's not hyperactive.

Women of our age never had a chance - in the 70's and 80's studies on ADHD were in their infancy, and the focus was on angry, hyperactive boys. Maybe, now that there are more and more women learning about this, we can finally do something to make the world a more accessible and equitable place for people with ADHD.

therage September 7, 2022

Needed this today. Thanks for the perspective.

I'd love to see more of this kind of writing on Mamamia. Not critical of life stages, but more of an exploration of how to cope with .... everything!

therage August 28, 2022

Who are these people??

I know Taylor and Lizzo and then…. Nothing!

I’m so old 😭😭😭

therage August 7, 2022

@Laura Palmer Completely agree that SAHM's can be setting themselves up for poverty, which is why I believe training for re entering the workforce is an important thing to look at. IMO barriers to study are often financial for SAHM's who feel they haven't earned an income or may be told by oppressive partners that they can't afford it. A start may be assessing their individual income (often nil or very low) in order to allow access to free or subsidised courses at TAFE or as is the case for people on low income health care cards.

therage April 26, 2022

I'd love to know what kind of "rigorous and comprehensive reporting" teachers are doing ... because if this is referencing term reports, us parents certainly aren't getting any info there!

To be clear, this is not having a go at teachers - this is having a go at the ridiculous demands of the department. Reports with no purpose. Unnecessary and excessive admin taking time from actual teaching. The department is filling teachers days with 'busy work' to make it look like the head honchos are worth the bloated salaries they are taking home. It's sickening.

therage April 20, 2022

@gypsy it seems you have not read my comment. This is not about flexible workplaces necessarily - it's about understanding environments wherein people can work well and not drown.

Once a culture of listening to HOW a person works best exists, an adequately educated member of a HR department and connections with a good workplace psychologist can do the trick. As an example, suitable adjustments for a person with ADHD may be (but are not limited to) a stand up desk, a single contact for them to get their tasks from and ask questions of, and understanding of their need to use noise cancelling headphones when working.

Now, I understand in small businesses, this is not necessarily possible (but some things certainly may be). In larger corporations, it most certainly is. For some people, just knowing they can freely have these conversations about how their divergency affects them in the workplace without being discriminated against makes all the difference. Many people know what helps them after a lifetime of struggling, and are happy to bring in their own resources - what they are lacking is the compassion and the understanding of the people who work with them.

If a workplace needed to provide access for a wheelchair user, would you say that was too extreme and respond in the same way? How about workers who wear glasses to see - would you ask them to take them off? Or a colleague who needed a hearing aid - do you think it is fair to ask them to remove it?

There are many disability adjustments that occur in daily life for many people. Many people with anxiety disorders, ADHD or Autism Spectrum disorders need some simple adjustments to be able to perform their jobs to the best of their ability, whilst keeping their mental health in a good place.

therage April 19, 2022

@rosiecat the thing is, though, if the work is the right fit, often neuro divergent people can be exceptional at their jobs. It’s not about other people picking up their slack, it’s about providing the right environment for a person to be able to function at their best without sensory/social and other factors becoming an issue. The fact that the first assumption is that other people need to pick up slack is a clue to just how much these issues are misunderstood.

There was a story about a guy in the US who requested no birthday party at his workplace due to his severe anxiety. He was allegedly ignored, and the company thew the party anyway. His anxiety response was apparently unsettling for the other workers and he was fired. Had they just listened to his simple request, nothing would have happened.

Society has no real idea of what any of these disorders actually mean for people, and talking about understanding without actually understanding, which is what most people do, is a cop out.

therage April 18, 2022

Thank you so much for this article. I am in the same situation. Have shut down my business after being incapable with dealing with the constant changes COVID has brought to both my work and family life, and unable to secure employment elsewhere. Caring for child with ADHD and ASD, in my 40's and have myself been diagnosed with ADHD within the last few years. A lifetime of stop/start jobs. Capable of so much, but with the need for flexibility and all of the struggles that ADHD brings. It can be debilitating. Thank you for bringing awareness to the struggle that many of us are facing right now.

therage November 4, 2021

'... she's not blaming government. She knows it's down to William, at 20 years old, to take responsibility for his addiction and be accountable for his behaviour.'

Actually, it's not totally up to him to take complete responsibility for his addiction and to be accountable for what he has done. The frontal cortex of the brain, that is, the area controlling impulsive behaviour and our executive functioning, does not fully develop until around 25 years old. It develops later in boys and men later than it does for girls. Young adults in Australia are exposed to incredibly aggressive advertising targeted right at them for this very reason. Make no mistake, marketers know exactly what they are doing when they are advertising directly to males with poor impulse control, little personal expenses (often still living at home) and a highly disposable income.

The worst thing is that in this scenario, the neuroplasticity that allows us to form new habits and learn new things by strengthening pathways through recognition and reward is also strengthened when performing an undesirable behaviour, such as gambling.

Don't completely blame yourself or your son - there is a lot at play making these scenarios so common all around the country. It's awful.

therage September 5, 2021

You should move to South West or Western Sydney - he won't have a choice!

No jab, no job over here. We can't work until we're fully vaccinated over her (I think it may have changed recently to first jab - I can't keep up), alongside someone from your end who gets to choose not to have it and keep their job - and work in our LGA if they need to!

Welcome to our classist Liberal Government.