baby

"My baby's milestones are none of your business."

When Annabelle was little, she was a total milestone champion. She threw us her first smiles at like four weeks, rolled over about eleven weeks and was an early walker around ten months.

Yep, she could totally participate in the baby Olympic decathlon of milestones – and I, as her mother, would have been some pushy sports mum living vicariously through her child, bragging about her every win.

I was a total baby bragger.

Fast forward about three years, and here I am! The mum of a little girl with a speech delay due to hearing problems, which she needed grommets to fix and a baby who is THAT far off hitting her so-called milestones at the ‘correct’ time.

I must admit that I’m glad it happened this way around, and that I didn’t experience the extreme paranoia perhaps some first time parents do when their babies don’t hit milestones. But I can guarantee you it doesn’t stop you worrying and stressing that perhaps something is wrong or you need intervention to help. It doesn’t stop you comparing, even though you know no two babies are the same.

Listen: Shelley Craft’s parenting mantra. Post continues after audio. 

Yes, babies all develop at different ages and absolutely we should celebrate all our children’s milestones (no matter how early or late), but it doesn’t help when you see little Timmy, who is a month younger than your baby, sitting up while your little cherub just flops over herself and face plants the ground.

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It’s hard not to compare when your almost three-year-old isn’t toilet trained yet because she doesn’t quite understand and still struggles with her speech. Yet so many of the mums from day-care or mums group with kids the same age or younger are always going to ask you “how’s toilet training going?” when they see my little girl in a nappy.

And it is absolutely NOT okay for someone to use your child’s setbacks against them as in insult, in a mean and malicious way (yes, sadly I’ve had that happen.)

It’s a sure fire way to piss off any mum.

"It's hard not to compare." Image supplied.

All I can say is that bloody Wonder Weeks app can go away. I am fast learning there is no textbook baby. Each baby develops at their own rate, and these ‘so-called’ milestones can be a cause for unnecessary stress and worry!

Just because an app or a book says so, doesn’t make it gospel! If your maternal health nurse or doctors are not concerned, then you shouldn't be. And should something be wrong or you need intervention, then you will cross that bridge when you come to it. Don't be afraid to talk about it and never be ashamed of it.

Does anyone else have milestone paranoia? Have you ever compared your children to others? Or has anyone else ever been a baby-bragger?

This article was originally published by House Of White. Read the original post here.