When you’re expecting, it’s an exciting time. And a big part of this is sharing the happy news with your friends and family, which in 2017 means uploading a photo to social media.
But not everyone shares the same sentiment when it comes to pregnancy announcement posts. And not just because it can be annoying, or they remind some of us what we should be doing by a certain age, but also because for many, these posts represent something excruciatingly out of reach.
For the women that aren’t, can’t, are trying and waiting, these kinds of happy posts can be anything but.
Someone who knows this all too well is Amber Stone Williams, who took to Facebook with a very different kind of pregnancy announcement.
“I get it,” she wrote on Facebook. “I know the feeling. That gut-wrenching, hard to breathe feeling. Because I was that girl.”
“The girl that saw yet ANOTHER pregnancy announcement on my newsfeed and just rolled her eyes. The girl that felt sick to her stomach because it wasn’t me doing the announcing. The girl that was so angry that you didn’t even have to try… It was an “accident”. The girl that would cry behind closed doors because my heart was so broken that my body wouldn’t produce a miracle like yours would. I’m so sorry.”
Recognising the pain and anguish that is the “emotional rollercoaster of infertility”, Amber kept it real in expressing her struggle to conceive before dedicating her special announcement to all the women who might be hurting.
Listen: Deb Knight shares her IVF journey on I Don’t Know How She Does It (post continues after audio…)
“This is for the girl who got another negative pregnancy test this morning,” she wrote.
“To the girl who has no idea why this is so hard for her… to the girl whose heart is so bitter… to the girl who has lost a child due to miscarriage or heartbreaking circumstance… to the girl whose adoption process has failed once again… to the girl who has one child but can’t seem to get pregnant again…
“I love you. I am so sorry you are going through this, and I know it’s just not fair.”
How does seeing pregnancy announcements on Facebook make you feel?
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Top Comments
Maybe she is just sick of baby announcements, particularly those linked to faith and being #blessed.
Currently going through fertility treatment myself, and social media yesterday (Mother's Day in the US) was hard, too hard. So, i instituted a ban after 5min of scrolling and seeing happy faces, round bellies, and lovely odes to motherhood. Every family deserves the right to share their good news, but I know personally that when/if i am lucky enough to fall pregnant (and keep the baby) i will not be sharing this news on social media - I know how tough it is to see, and if i can spare one person a little bit of pain from keeping my happiness offline, i'm going to do it.
All the more reason to share your good news with your FB family and friends ... they will want to share in your good news and yes it might be bittersweet for some, but you ARE entitled to shout it out from the rooftops when the time comes.
But does whether that news is online or not, matter? Surely people will figure out that you are pregnant. Are you just going to keep every happy moment with your child and during your pregnancy off line aswell?
I actually shared my pregnancy news and scan photos on SM precisely to avoid hurting the feelings of certain family members who had miscarried. That was they could scroll past the pic, compose themselves or feel whatever negative feelings they needed to feel, and then congratulate us, instead of calling them and surprising them with it. I totally understood that my news would twist the knife and didn't want to catch them unawares.
Very good point. In the scheme of things, you're definitely right, it doesn't matter whether it's online or not - no doubt, if/when i manage to have a child, the sting of seeing all my peers have happy families will fade, and i'll forget the burning envy and sadness that has enveloped 3 years (and counting) of my life. But, at this point, i don't want to add to anyone else's grief - so i won't be sharing pics of my growing belly, or my smiling husband and newborn etc on social media. It's funny - i don't feel the same gut-wrench of seeing grown children (i mean 5yrs+), it's the babies that just kill me. Infertility is such a personal thing, and we all react so differently to our bodies not doing what we desperately want them to do - i don't pretend to claim that my coping mechanism should be embraced by everyone, but i do think my "no social media sharing" plan will work for me.