entertainment

In case you missed the memo, this is now a thing. A big thing. (NSFW)

porn

WARNING: Er, this post is probably not safe for work. 

By MELISSA WELLHAM

Lawrence of a Labia.

Muffy the Vampire Layer.

In Diana Jones.

Sex Trek: The Next Penetration.

Crocodile Blondee.

Edward Penishands.

In case you somehow missed the memo, porn parodies are now a thing. A pretty big thing, in fact — no sexual innuendo intended whatsoever.

Don’t believe me? Think of a film. Any film. Have one in mind? Okay, now use Google to see if there is a porn parody version of that film. Because, as it turns out, there is a porn parody of almost every film ever.

Basically, porn parodies attempt to latch onto the popularity of an already existing franchise. They rename the film with something appropriately porn-y (and usually hilarious), and then throw caricatures of the original characters into situations where they have to have sex. For some reason.

Men in Black becomes Men in Black (who like to have sex with each other). The Exorcist becomes The Sexorcist.

In some ways, porn parodies are a type of X-rated wish fulfillment. In many of the films, the characters you always wanted to hook up finally do (hel-lo, Mulder and Scully), the loveable characters in television shows who are never given a romantic subplot finally get theirs, and Lizzie Bennet and Mr Darcy finally succumb to their attraction for one another and act on it – instead of just intensely staring at each other from across the room. (For the record, I am fine with Pride and Prejudice just the way it is.)

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If you think about it, a porn parody is actually a pretty good sign that you have ‘made it’. If your film or book has become culturally significant enough to have a porn parody imitating your characters, and putting them into implausible situations (and positions), then it’s likely you’ve hit the big time.

Click through the gallery below for a list of movies that have been turned into porn parodies. Again – NSFW.

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One person, however, did not take it as a compliment when she found out that the product of her imagination was now being used to fuel other people’s ‘alone time’.

Actress Lena Dunham – who is the creator, producer, and lead actress in HBO’s hit television series Girls– was apparently pretty annoyed that a porn parody has been made of her show.

Dunham took to Twitter to explain her “disgust” at the concept – and she managed to make some pretty good points in 140 characters or less, despite the fact that Twitter is not known as being a medium of exceptionally nuanced discussion.

She wrote:

Okay, I wracked my brain to articulate why I can’t just laugh off a porn parody of Girls and here are 3 reasons:

Lena Dunham girls porn parody tweet
So succinct.

1. Because Girls is, at its core, a feminist action while Hustler [the company that plans to make the porn parody] is a company that markets and monetizes a male’s idea of female sexuality.

2. Because a big reason I engage in (simulated) onscreen sex is to counteract a skewed idea of that act created by the proliferation of porn.

3. Because it grosses me out.

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She said later, “Wish I had a better attitude about the ‘Girls’ porn parody. I really can never predict what will trouble me and it’s simply exhausting.”

According to porn website XBIZ, the movie, to be titled This Ain’t Girls XXX, and will follow the following plot line:

In the XXX parody, Hannah (Alex Chance) decides to forsake men, and boyfriend Adam, to experiment with lesbianism. After a few satisfying jaunts she returns to Adam — and mankind.

Adam accepts her back into the fold, but, true to the original show, adds a dominant and quirky dimension to the scene.

Lena Dunham Girls
Lena Dunham, in a scene from Girls.

Sounds like there’s going to be tonnes of witty and fast-paced dialogue, right? Well, maybe.

Richie Calhoun plays the porn version of Adam – the character who is Hannah’s boyfriend on the show, played by Adam Driver – spoke to XBIZ, and revealed that “they didn’t have to do much” to the script.

Basically, Hustler, the makers of the porn parody, have taken the script of the original Girls – and increased the frequency and intensity of the sex scenes.

Lena Dunham probably wouldn’t be too happy about that.

According to the Atlantic Wire, the writer/director of This Ain’t Girls XXX, Stuart Canterbury, called Dunham’s twitter explanation hypocritical, saying “It is interesting that Ms Dunham and her supporters are so quick to condemn a movie that nobody has seen yet … The men and women who work in adult entertainment have been vilified and victimized so much, especially by right wing conservatives, that most of us find ourselves on the political left, with pro-feminist leanings.”

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Alex Chance, who plays 'Hannah' in This Ain't Girls XXX.
Alex Chance, who plays ‘Hannah’ in This Ain’t Girls XXX.

He continued, “To say that all pornography is anti-feminist is a tired cliché, which undermines the right of free sexual choices that a liberated woman can make for herself.”

The Atlantic Wire then contacted Alex Chance, who plays ‘Hannah’ in This Ain’t Girls XXX.

On Lena Dunham’s take on the industry – that porn sexualizes women – Chance said, “Granted, they are sexualizing us, because it is porn… [But] if I’m in control of what’s happening, I don’t see any wrongness.”

The porn actress then went on to comment that she sees Lena Dunham as an inspiration – especially when it comes to body image.

“We both are the non-traditional versions in our different areas,” she said. “I hope that when women watch porn and watch me they think, ‘Oh, she’s not necessarily this stick-thin girl and she can still do this awesome act or whatever.’ Because not every girl is skinny and I think that’s what Lena Dunham is trying to promote. Not every girl looks like a supermodel. I hope that she at least kind of gets that from it.”

Both Lena Dunham and Alex Chance make some interesting points – about the sexualisation of women in porn, whether or not porn can be feminist, and whether women in porn are making empowered decisions.

Ultimately, I’m willing to criticise the Girls porn parody based upon one very important factor. It’s called This Ain’t Girls XXX. And thereby fails to fulfill the most important thing a porn parody should deliver: an amusing title.

What do you think of the concept of porn parodies? Funny or not at all? 

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