These jeans are a thing and can SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE SWEAT?

Chokers had their day in the sun.

Side vag got a whirl.

Velvet did, too.

And now, like a surprise STD you got from that guy at the club when you were 21, plastic-covered knees are here to ruin your week without warning.

A-yup!

"Clear knee mum jeans" are now a thing, and just like syphilis, I think we can all agree we really wish they weren't.

And we have the bunch of design weirdos at Topshop to thank. Thanks, guys.

Listen: The women's fashion research absolutely nobody asked for. (Post continues after audio.)

Not to be a total ~fashun~ party pooper, but can we discuss the practicality of plastic covered knees for a jiffy?

I have a few thoughts. Namely, they are:

1. Sweat.
2. Foggy-uppy-ness.
3. Sweat droplets.
4. More sweat.
5. Do they come with windscreen wipers for aforementioned sweaty foggy-uppy-ness?
6. Why?
7. Just... why?
8. Why?
9. WHY WHY WHY.

Ahem.

The environmentally disastrous beauties can be yours from Nordstrom for the sweet, sweet price of $134.07. But then, you know, you gotta pay postage and handling to get 'em Down Under.

Which comes to approximately... $NOT WORTH IT dollars and JUST NO cents.

Luckily, I'm not the only one who is utterly outraged.

Of course, they're not as bad as ASOS' "Dinosaur tail", but look, they're not far off.

If anyone needs me, I'll be hiding under a Target rack... i.e. the only place where our denim is safe and we won't be told to dress up like a group of extinct reptiles.

Lord help us.

Would you rock a pair of "clear knee mum jeans"?