So it looks like I figured out what ‘on fleek’ means just in time to realise that I am not. On fleek. I am very much off fleek. I have failed at fleeking.
Apparently, the people of the world are split into two groups – the cool kids and the dweebs. And the cool kids have just announced that owning a phone that makes any kind of noise is, like, total SOCIAL SUICIDE.
I’m not talking just leaving the typing sounds on, or rudely playing music while on a mode of transportation that involves other people (a crime for which offenders should be forced to watch one episode of The Big Bang Theory on repeat for the rest of their days). I’m talking just letting a phone ring, or allowing it to beep or make a delightful ding when getting a message. When you’re just like, around the house, or out in public. It turns out, anybody who has the audacity to let their phone make any kind of noise at any point has failed at being a human.
An article published on Fusion today by a trendy, young, on fleek hipster cool cat, described the absolute horror she felt when an older woman in a cafe answered a call after hearing her phone ring (GASP!). Fleek hipster cool cat then went on to announce some seemingly obvious rules that I had no idea were obvious:
“…let’s face it: only the most tech-backward among us still has their ringers on.”
“Most savvy people know that their phones should be muted in public.”
“This isn’t just common practice. This is the law of the land now. It’s a matter of etiquette.”
“Who actually leaves their phone behind these days when they go to the bathroom?”
“Your phone is like a crying baby on a plane.”
“Shizzle bop mason jars homeless-man beards fleek fleek hashtag vintage swag chicka flippity.”
(Okay so that last one wasn’t real but that’s just what I hear when young, trendy people talk to me.)
I asked one of the young Mamamia ladies if this article was accurate. Is letting your phone audibly ring really, um, not ‘on fleek’?