No Pete Evans were hurt in the making of My Kitchen Rules, but they could have been.
Oh, Pete Evans. How the 1.5million fans of MKR love to watch him taste food prepared for him by the desperate contestants. Will he love it, will he hate it, will he spit it into Manu’s manicured beard? And now we know so much about Pete’s hardcore paleo personal food philosophy – that he won’t eat any grains, that he encourages us all to drink bone broth instead of coffee, and that he believes carbs cause autism – it’s even more fun.
So before you watch tonight, spare a thought for Paleo Pete – who is having to eat all kinds of foods he would NEVER touch in “real” life -and read this post written by a nutritionally-inclined humourist who is certainly NOT Pete Evans, and imagine Pete’s pain…
My Kitchen Rules (MKR) has started again and I couldn’t be more pumped. It’s going to be awesome, rad, totes ridic and activated amazenuts all at once. But it’s also going to be a terribly big shock – especially for everyone in my facebook tribe.
You see, since the last MKR I’ve gone fully paleo. And I’ve been telling anyone who’ll listen to ban dairy and grains from their diet as a way to cure everything from autism to Zuska’s disease.
Now, I’m definitely not saying I will kill any Australian who eats non-paleo foods – I think the army should be doing that – but if MKR contestants serve me up a delicious crème brûlée or even a crunchy dinner roll I will have to make a big decision; will I stick to my cave man principles or will I sell them out for my MKR pay cheque?
It’s a paleo paradox I’ve been calling The Money or the Bun.
Now most people would gladly have their cake and get paid for it too, but they are blissfully ignorant of the massive pain and suffering caused by the non-paleo provisions you’ll never see in my pantry.
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So, like I do with all big decisions, I’ve drawn up a list of pros and cons for some of the more modern dishes I might have to confront:
1. Grilled fruit platter with pistachio and yoghurt dressing.
Pros: Juicy, fresh summer stonefuits are still in season. Nuts are permitted.
Cons: Shingles. Especially if the fruit was washed in fluoridated water.
2. Puy lentil salad.
Pros: High in dietary fibre.
Cons: Fitic acid, phietic acid, fydik acid… Acid
3. Filet mignon with green peppercorns.
Pros: Not many people realise beef is a great source of vitamin B21.