OPINION: 'I’m all for teaching my girls to be proud, but you can count me out of period parties.'

Periods are great and all, but do I really need to throw a bloody uterus party for them? Yes, pun intended.

I’m all for teaching my girls to be confident and proud, but surely not every single milestone needs to be celebrated with a party.

If my mother had done this for me, I would have been mortified. It was always awkward enough when I had to stand there while people sang ‘Happy Birthday’. I think I would have fainted if everyone sang a ‘congratulations on your period’ song.

Watch: MM Confessions – our most awkward period stories. Post continues below. 

Happy period to you,

It is red not blue,

It might stain your panties,

Keep track of when you’re due.

On your way out don’t forget your party bag of tampons and Panadol!

Is all the food period-related? Instead of napkins, will you use pads to wipe your face? Do you need to bring a period present like a menstrual cup or hot water bottle? Are the cookies in the shape of vaginas? Will there be games? I have too many disturbing questions.

The cake would probably be red, so great. Can you tell me with a straight face you would find eating a cake representing a shedding uterus appetising? Perhaps the cake has a red mousse filling *gag*.

I could definitely plan the party games – stick the tampon on the uterus, best period catchphrase, Scattegories period edition, pass the parcel which is wrapped in red paper signifying shedding of the lining. What. Is. Happening.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but having a party isn’t the only way to provide children with knowledge. If girls are anxious about starting their periods, maybe we haven’t taken the opportunity to sit with them and talk.

Sit there, explain everything to them, and let them ask you questions. Encourage them to speak to their friends about it with all the correct information.

Not based on what they find on the internet or hear through gossip.

Listen: Ask Me Anything is Mamamia’s short, sharp podcast that answers real-life anonymous questions from teenage girls. Post continues below. 

As parents, we have the power to shape the way our kids view things. If we don’t make it seem like a taboo subject – it won’t be to them.

I like to think I’m raising my girls to be proud and confident. They don’t need a party to make them feel special, or as a way to feel empowered. That’s what I’m here for.

They’ll know it’s normal, they can talk about it, and they don’t need to be embarrassed. I don’t feel the need to wait for their periods so I can bond with my girls, I’ve been there from the beginning, and I’ll be there till the end.

Now if you need me, I’ll be working on some sort of Alice in Wonderland food that makes you shrink, so I can safely squeeze the kids back into my uterus until this fad is over.

Feature Image: Supplied / Getty.