We all know the story about the annoying, old aunt, right? The one where she kept cackling ‘you’re next!’ at every wedding until you did the same at the next funeral? Okay, I have a lot of those. Not just maternal or paternal aunts, but the friends of the family and friends of my parents, which Arabic values dictate I should call ‘aunty’.
Living away from home hasn’t stopped them doing the whole marriage routine.
‘Amne, habibty! Why don’t you want to get married?’ they ask, right after the squealed ‘HELLO!’ and just before the ‘how are you?’
‘Darrrlingggggg. Don’t worry! There are sooo many good men out there. He’ll come! Just stop being so resistant!’
As someone who does want to get married one day, I had never quite known how to react to this. My response used to be something along the lines of ‘not now, aunty! I’m still in uni. I’ve got plenty of time’.
Alas, that excuse ship has well and truly sailed. I’ve graduated. I’ve been working for the last year. I have my own apartment and I’m settling into life. Somehow, by being one of the only girls I know who graduated from university (let alone finished high school) and didn’t slip straight into the arms of a handsome stranger, it means that I don’t want to get married.
I mean, I always knew this was going to happen – I had seen the older girls drop off one by one. They would finish high school with a diamond ring sat snuggly on their left ring finger. As I grew older, the girls around me started whispering of engagements and marriage. A handful sat through the last few classes of grade 12, absent-mindedly twirling the ring around, completely enthralled by the thoughts of their upcoming weddings.
Top Comments
The best time to get married is when you're ready to..........you might be 20 or 40 or 60.
Just "settling" for some man because you're under pressure from family could be disastrous and pretty unfair to that man.
They do marry young in Sydney's western suburbs, it's been going on for decades.
I had a teenage marriage (the 1st time) and it ended after about 4 yrs. My 2nd has been a genuine success.
Educated women tend to marry later but many communities are very unhappy about that.............therefore, I reckon you should leave that home for a few years and learn about what it is YOU need to have a happy life.
In this new, unfettered state of mind, there's a good chance you'll meet someone who's interested in your mind, personality, talents & dreams rather than your ability to produce children.
There's a saying that goes something like........"When you leave home & become successful, your friends back home die a little".
Your family & friends mean well but they also want you to be like them, therefore validating their lives as being successful.
Imposing a marriage on you now means that you'll be sleeping beside a man you aren't too fussed about.........you may grow to love him, then again - you may not.
You're doing the right thing because you've already left "the folks back home".
Very true, wise words :)
That must be incredibly frustrating!! To have graduated from uni, be working full time and living in your own apartment by 22 is a big achievement ! I can't imagine the constant pressure to marry and I hope it eases for you.
Thank you! Very kind of you to say!