Parents lie. That's the truth

Whether it’s a protection mechanism designed to make themselves feel superior to other parents, or… no, that’s about it. Parents lie. 

“Timmy’s walking already!” one parent proudly declares at any mother’s group across the country. “Last week, he just looked at me, pulled himself up and walked across the room. Bless his heart, it was one of greatest moments of my life.”

“But Shaz, he’s only three months old…”

“It truly was a miracle. We’re thinking MENSA.”

Nowhere is this worse than online. It’d be really refreshing to have some brutal honestly when it comes to your own kids, particularly when it comes to parental-themed Facebook posts. Facebook is notorious for glamourising everyone's life, but when it comes to kids, it’s a playground of lies and deceit.

You just know that pic of Harry/Charles/Oscar/Barry sitting playfully in his clam shell

took 38 attempts and a lollypop to placate a screaming shitfit to capture.

But on FB, he may as well have had a halo photoshopped around his head.

How about some honesty?

“Little Jimmy Bob stared at his toy duck today and said “Car!” Then he ran around bashing it against his head. We’re concerned; he's 4.”

The truth will never prevail, because every parent wants/needs to feel that their kid is better.


I’m even guilty of it!

Miss Two and a half was quick off the mark to crawl, but felt that her knees were a much better mode of transportation, so she took her time getting up off all fours. But to our friends, she was tap dancing Fred Astaire-style across our lounge room floorboards.

“Yeah, she’s confidently strutting all over the house *ahem* did anyone catch the Broncos game last night?” I said when asked if our 14-month-old daughter was walking yet.

“It’s summer, there’s no footy on at the moment mate.”

***Nervous laughter***

“Anyone thirsty?”

The problem with this type of behaviour is that it makes other parents paranoid, and then we start rethinking our own parenting strategies and doubt our child’s individual ability.

So, I’d really like everyone to start telling the truth when we swap war stories about our kids and stop all of this deception, as it’s only hurting ourselves and ultimately our kids.

“Heya Bev, how’s little Billy going?”

“Dumb as a brick, Trace, dumb as a brick.”


Christo is a radio announcer and a house husband. He blogs at and you can follow him at