Athletes train long and hard to reach peak physical condition in their chosen sport. In fact, most wake up incredibly early, do the same thing over and over and over again in challenging conditions, for many years, with mind-numbing sameness, to prepare for success.
Hey parents, sound familiar?
It turns out there is a level-playing field so many of us have already been trained in, almost unwittingly, that we seemingly get no credit or accolades for. It’s called parenting.
So I got to thinking. What if there was a Parenting Olympics? Possible events could include but are not limited to:
1. Lego Hurdles
Like regular hurdles but instead of landing on grass, the competitor has to land on scattered Lego. Barefoot. For an added degree of difficulty, these pieces will be mostly upturned and of the sharp rectangular variety. Instant disqualification if a profanity is not used upon impact.
2. Child Weightlifting
This is an event whereby the competitor must attempt the clean and jerk on a child that is almost comatose in their car seat after midnight. This will be held after a massive night of running around at a BBQ in the hot sun and having eaten their bodyweight in Cheezels and gummy bears.
Points are awarded for delivering said child into their bed with zero head collisions with either the car door frame or the top of the bunk bed and then getting them tucked in, totally asleep. If a child awakes at any stage, points are deducted.
Top Comments
I'm totally mesmerised by that last gif
Wait till they are 12 years old and want to go to a party at 10:45pm and you are THE WORST MOTHER IN THE WORLD because you say no.
Or, they want to have the party (known often as a gathering) at your place. Fun, fun, fun.
Oh yes, my sister and I had a party for our combined birthday (my 16th, her 18th) I think my parents are still traumatised by that experience.
And the time they went away so we had a party and chopped down the fence to use for firewood.
All this stuff is going to come back and haunt me isn't it?
Yes, it is. I paid for the joint party I had with my sister, at the same ages as you and your sister. My friends were pretty pissed at that one and then I had a party that was gate crashed by 100s....
Yep, we had gatherings; there was copulating in the grey water garden, destruction of tents, flashing and vomiting. All in the previous decade and my teenager just sidled up to me, requesting a gathering for her next birthday. Sigh.