couples

Don't judge me, but... I've completely lost control of my home.

Things are plenty crazy at my house. How do I take back the power?

Let me paint you a picture.

On Sunday night I was in the living room, trying to cojole my two little kids into eating their dinner, as I do every night.

They’ve dictated the menu, they’re eating (or more accurately not eating) from the specific plates that they requested, their drinking straws are the right colour, after a couple of tries. “NO MUMMY, I want the pink one!!!!”

Suddenly my 2yo bolts from the table and runs off. Less than a minute later I can hear some serious bang-clashing coming from the direction of the kitchen.

I dash to see what it is.

My boy has opened the dishwasher. He’s bouncing up and down on the open door. Waving an enormous butcher’s knife.

But now I had to disarm my boy, who's jumping and waving and banging a spoon in the other hand.

"Albie. Put the knife down. Albie. Give mummy the knife." I'm trying to keep my voice calm. My boy thinks this is a game and starts flailing the knife higher, jumping harder, giggling louder.

It was at this moment that I realised I'd completely lost control of my home. And that if we all got out of this alive and unharmed, it would not be because I was doing a great job.

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Every night I sleep with a preschooler's feet in my face. My husband and I haven't had the bed to ourselves for a whole night in more than a year.

Our house is a jumble-sale obstacle course of spiky toys, soggy crusts and seemingly unending piles of washing waiting to be folded.

Every meal time a tiny battle is fought over each mouthful, every request becomes a negotiation, every achievement is accompanied by a bribe.

Is this how it's meant to be? A day is just something to make it through without completely losing it?

Is this as good as it gets?

I managed to get the knife from my son. High level negotiations and lightening reflexes saved the day. No-one was hurt, he was reprimanded, returned to the dinner table (temporarily).

But I couldn't stop shaking all evening. And all I could think is - how do I get my life back under control?

Have you got any advice for a mum at the end of her tether?

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