8 things I didn't know about 8-year-olds.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but girls are acting like moody teenagers much younger these days, aren’t they?

My daughter is only eight and I thought I had a good four years before I had to deal with things like attitude, unwanted opinions and complete disregard for my clothing recommendations.

Me: But you look so cute in this fluffy, pink, sparkly dress.

Jacinta: Yuck Mum. Put it away.

If I could go back in time by just a year, I would tell myself a thing or three. By knowing what NOT to do when it comes to dealing with eight-year-old girls, my year would have been much, much easier.

1. She knows everything and I know nothing.

This isn’t exactly true and Jacinta knows it isn’t true but if I operate as though this is fact, I find things are much easier. So I phrase information as a question, not as fact, such as, “I think bananas are healthy” to which she will respond, “Of course they are mum. They are a fruit”. Followed by the most epic eye roll of all time.

Just as an FYI, you should know that this post is sponsored by Combantrin^®, But all opinions expressed by the author are 100 per cent authentic and written in their own words.

2. Everything I do is wrong.

It is less about my general knowledge and more about specific, important events such as doing her hair or getting her ready to go back to school. In fact, as the start of the new school year approaches, Jacinta seems to be getting more and more impatient with me: “Mum, I need a new school uniform. Mum, I need a new schoolbag. MUM, I NEED A NEW ONE DIRECTION LUNCHBOX”. OK, I get the hint. It might just be time for me to start preparing for the year ahead…

3. Just walking past her brother causes severe physical injury, causing her to collapse onto the floor and wail.

My daughter thankfully doesn’t have any food allergies but she does seem to be incredibly allergic to her brother. The allergy is so severe that she can collapse in pain from mere proximity. Other times she follows him around like a puppy, but the allergy is sudden and unpredictable. And that allergy has been getting worse over the school holidays, as they have been forced to spend a lot more time together than usual. Add the stress of them bickering to the stress of the back-to-school madness, and you have one frazzled mama.

4. What I wear is ‘wrong’.

Now that I am older I am more into comfortable clothes than those that look good. It’s my right as a 40-something. But there is a pair of printed pants I am not to wear when dropping her off at school, unless it is at the drop off zone and then only if I don’t get out of the car. Better go shopping then to prepare for the new school year…

This is not what life with an 8-year-old looks like. Stock photos are deceptive. 

5. She does not have worms.

Jacinta was so horrified that she had worms last year that she insisted they were already living in the toilet bowl. Apparently it had nothing to do with her. She was so distraught at the idea that they had come from her that I nodded and agreed that yes, I would have to do a better job at cleaning the toilet. But she agreed to take her treatment, just in case. Funny that.

6. There is an invisible film crew following her around filming her and she is constantly having to sing and dance at the drop of a hat to give them material.

Life is a musical; at least it has been last year. Thanks to Frozen and Annie and all the other movies and musicals she has recently become obsessed with, she will sing and dance at the drop of a hat. Thankfully the expensive and demanding dance classes she has been taking for three years means she is getting pretty good at these impromptu performances; however it would be great if she didn’t do them when we are running late for things.

7. One Direction is more important than air and anyone who doesn’t agree is just ‘wrong’.

And if a food, product or clothing item doesn’t feature a One Direction logo, then it doesn’t belong in her room. Her bedroom looks like a One Direction Concert Merchandise Stall and don’t you dare buy her anything featuring 5 Seconds of Summer, Hello Kitty or anything that isn’t One Direction. Because One Direction is all that matters. As I said before, she is seriously coveting a One Direction lunchbox this year. I better add that to the (ever-growing) list.

8. Snails MUST ALWAYS be rescued from the wet path.

Snails are subjected to consistent love and affection but they are the only living thing worthy of such affection and heroic efforts. Tiny little helpless spiders are pounded to bits with her shoes with unnecessary ferocity but snails must be delicately carried out of harm’s way by any and all members of her immediate family. They simply must!

Here are 8 of our favourite movies to keep your 8-year-old entertained in the last few weeks of the school holidays. 

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