This post deals with eating disorders and might be triggering for some readers.
Dear Eating Disorder,
You make it unbelievably hard to function in this world. You’ve taken away social outings, holidays, friendships and tainted the relationship I have with myself.
The problem is, I think you might be my ‘best friend’. My best friend of 10 years, how do I get rid of you?
How do I get rid of you when you have the ability to make me feel empowered, safe, beautiful and somewhat special amongst all these people in the world?
Watch: Kasey Chamber on what it’s like to have an eating disorder.
Ten years is a lengthy friendship. You’ve been around longer than most of my friends and you know me better than anyone else, better than I know myself.
You excuse my “bad” behaviour because you fuel the intentions behind it. I’m still unsure though, what was our goal in this friendship? Weight loss? Power? Beauty? Strength? Or death?
Have we got there yet? When will we achieve “our” goals? It has been 10 years, after all, that is a long time, just under half of my life.
I don’t know about you but I’m tired, exhausted in fact. But you won’t let me give up, you won’t let me rest. You push me to be the best I can be, like any good friend does. So, how can I get rid of you?