A Group Therapy question from Tammy* who writes
“I wanted to get some views on online dating from the Mamamia community. It’s something I don’t have any experience of, being part of a long-term couple, and I recently encouraged a friend to give it a go. I realise my coupled-up status probably makes it easier for me to recommend to someone else, but I’m certain that I’d be up for trying it if I happened to be single. My thinking is that we already live so much of our lives online (keeping in touch with friends, shopping, reading news, paying bills…) why not date, too?
Anyway, this friend has a lot going for her – smarts, looks, kindness – but is a fairly shy person initially who doesn’t get into the club or bar scene, and therefore her options for meeting someone in ‘real life’ are somewhat limited. She works in a female-dominated industry and has a nice but small circle of friends that she’s unlikely to meet anyone through. She’s a bit reluctant about putting her profile online and not quite sure what to expect from it. She has also admitted that she’d be pretty embarrassed if anyone found out she was looking online. I’m all, “who cares?!” and “just do it!”, but I acknowledge that people in long-term relationships can be embarrassingly out of touch with the dating scene and all its intricacies.
I know two couples who met online (one of them is married) and they are all lovely, normal, one-headed people who I’m sure wouldn’t hesitate to recommend it. I’ve also tried to work the topic into conversations with other friends and the responses have been quite varied, ranging from the open-minded “seems like a perfectly fine, logical way to meet someone” (said with a shrug) to the “are you kidding?” (said with a mortified look).
I’ve looked out for websites that chronicle other peoples’ experiences, but a Google search really only brings up the fairytale romance types who knew they’d get married after the first date, and a few, er, bitter and twisted individuals who insist it’s all a ridiculous scam and that you should save your time and self-esteem. There must be some middle ground here, and I’d love to hear from the MM community.”