beauty

Is it normal? My daughter loves my mum more than me.

My daughter seems to prefer her grandmother over me and I don’t know how I feel about it.

My mother could give lessons on how to be a good grandmother. She’s such a good Granny that my daughter prefers her over me. Every day after school she begs me to drop her off at my mother’s house and most days I give in. They are so close and I’m happy they are close, I really am.

I just feel like I’m coming off second-best.

I’m the mother so I’m working and cooking and cleaning and nagging and making her do her homework, but all my daughter wants is to be with Granny so they can bake and eat cookies. My daughter is eight so she really craves that girly bonding time and my mother has endless patience with her. She does her hair, paints her nails, takes her clothes shopping and buys her cupcakes.

My mum gets to do all the fun stuff and I get left with all the work

I think my mum is making up for lost time. She's never said anything to me about it but I get the feeling that with my daughter, her first granddaughter amongst seven grandchildren, she's getting a bit of a do-over because she wasn't the mother she wanted to be to me and my sisters. With us she was always yelling about something but with my daughter she's gentle, patient, loving, nurturing, all the things I wish she'd been with me.

So I let them spend a lot of time with each other. They wouldn't have it any other way. But as a result I hardly ever get to do fun things with my daughter. She does all that with my mum and I'm left to do all the homework and drive her around everywhere.

Maybe if I got more fun time with her I wouldn't be so unsettled by their relationship, but to get more fun time with her I'd have to cut back on her time with my mum. I don't know if that would be the right thing to do?

Do you think I have a right to be upset? Or, am I over-reacting?

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