FLUFF: Nicole Kidman unrecognisable in new Jimmy Choo ad.

Nicole, is that you? Nicole Kidman? Mother of four children? Academy Award winning actress? Elegant, naturally gorgeous Nicole?

Ah, look. OK. This is awkward. 46-year-old Nicole Kidman appears as the face/body of a new Jimmy Choo poster for the 2014 Autumn collection. Or, more accurately, a long-legged teenage ghost version of Nicole Kidman does.

This spooky Photoshop apparition was released this morning. Take it all in. Squint and see if you can recognise Nicole Kidman’s facial features at all.

Why is one of the most stunning women in the world allowing a well-respected fashion label to disfigure her so drastically? Is a real, beautiful Nicole incapable of selling us shoes? Are we expected to look at photographs like this one and just accept that this is the New Normal for women?

Jimmy Choo’s creative director, Sandra Choi, calls Nicole “a true chameleon”. She says: ‘Nicole embodies the tougher attitude and rebellious glamour that is key to the Pre-Fall collection’s aesthetic.’

Ah, yeah. We could all be chameleons – just line us up with our very own team of Photoshop wizards.

It’s not the first time Jimmy Choo has chosen to smooth, slim, smudge, and streamline Nicole’s face and body in the name of Fashion. Here she is in previous photo shoots, sporting a similar age-defying, smoother-than-a-teenager look.

Here she is with inhumanly long limbs and a forehead so smooth Sade could write songs about it.

Here she is, wearing a clutch handbag as a shirt – same, unmoving forehead, same elongated legs.


And here she is in real life, just getting about being Nicole Kidman.

And taking her real Nicole Kidman face on television.

Look, we don’t know the inner workings of a high fashion photo shoot, but we are considering making some rally posters saying “Leave Nicole Alone.”

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