6 morsels of news for Thursday, June 30

There have been a few technical problems this morning, so your news is a bit late. Typical technical Thursday. But never mind, that’s all behind us now. Behold, the news!

1. Myer to start offering Botox.

Why wasn’t Myer smiling? Because they had Botox. Also, because they’re stuck in a trading slump. And we all know what fixes slumps of different varieties: botox! I could go forever. The retailer will begin offering $500+ shots of Botox in Melbourne and Sydney stores, using an external contractor. David Jones has been performing better than Myer, so the other major department store is hoping the Botox venture will, ahem, lift profits. What say you? Would you do it?

2. Aussies don’t mind their working hours.

Another survey! That’s not the news part. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics latest social trends survey, 65 per cent of workers said they were happy with the number of work hours they were working. Everyone else was too busy working to say anything, perhaps? Still … the data was from 2007 and it’s more than likely changed a bit since then. How are your hours?

3. The Pope has a Twitter account

Yes, yes he does. He sent his first tweet from an iPad which read: “Dear friends, I just launched www.news.va. Praised be our Lord Jesus Christ! With my prayers and blessings, Benedictus XVI.”

4. News Corp buys MySpace for $550m, sells for $33m.

That’s a massive loss, for those playing along at home. News Corporation bought MySpace six years ago before Facebook had really hit its stride. Now it owns less than 5 per cent.

5. The Greens will control the Senate in a couple of days.

From July 1 (though effectively Monday) the Greens will control the Federal upper house with four new senators. Bob Brown yesterday guaranteed the Green team would be ‘as solid as a rock’. There are 10 Green reps altogether, including one – Adam Bandt – in the House of Reps. Critics say the Greens will cause chaos in the parliament and orchestrate a lurch to the left. Thoughts?

6. High rolling people smugglers direct traffic from the bar

This Australian exclusive makes interesting readers as they track down two people smugglers who seem completely unfazed by the new asylum seeker policies of the Federal Government. They were previously under arrest but apparently released on bail in Indonesia.