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The 9 news bites you'll need this Friday

She’s…retired.

It’s Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday! Is everybody looking forward to the weekend? Sorry, couldn’t resist.

In slightly related news, here’s the news you’ll need to get you through the day delivered in bite-sized chunks so nobody has to fall asleep. Get into it!

1. Beauty ‘Queen’ Eden Wood retires…aged six.

We know, we know. This is really awful news. The world’s most famous beauty queen is stepping down from the pageant circuit so she can focus on her recording career. Let’s pause while that sinks in. She is six. Eden will however still be coming to Australia (Melbourne) at the end of July for her ‘Las Vegas Showgirl Routine’ in case you were devastated at missing out on all of that hullabaloo.

2. UK lawyer says scantily dressed women are ‘asking for it’.

Really, Mr Freeman, really? The celebrity lawyer Nick Freeman (he’s represented folks like David Beckham and Jeremy Clarkson) said the way women dress tells men what is on their minds and, in cases where they are dressed raunchily, can even ‘victimise men’. In typical UK tabloid fashion, the Daily Mail then hunted down photos of Mr Freeman’s own daughter – just 20 – dressed in a short skirt and apparently putting the moves on a bottle of champagne. Too far?

You’ll need a map.

3. Has the $150 million mega mansion in the States finally sold?

Check out the pictures of this home. Reminds us of the type of place Richie Rich might have lived, were he real. This is the former home of mega-TV producer Aaron Spelling (rest his soul) and has been on the market for 3 years with a price tag of $150 million. The home was built in 1990 on 2 hectares and features a double staircase entrance foyer based on scenes from Gone with the Wind. The home has 14 bedrooms and 27 bathrooms over four levels, not to mention an array of features like cinema, silverware room with humidity control (WTF?) and flower cutting room. Sigh. The home may be under contract to Petra Ecclestone, the 22-year-old heiress to a multi-billion dollar English F1 fortune. Tough life for some!

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4. CEO Sleepout raises $2.5 million for homeless.

Last night more than 150 chief executives – including the ABC’s Mark Scott and News Limited’s John Hartigan – hit the streets with nothing more than a sheet of cardboard to sleep on and a cup of soup in their bellies. And even that was a nicer treat than many of the 105,000 homeless people will get each night in Australia. Can you help?

Al-Qaeda’s new leader, right.

5. Al-Qaeda names Osama bin Laden replacement.

The world’s most hated terrorist group has named its new leader in the wake of the death of Osama bin Laden. Ayman al-Zawahiri was an Egyptian surgeon and frequently posted public messages as the for Al-Qaeda. The announcement was posted on a website used often by the terror group.

6. RSPCA ‘admits’ to with-holding horror video of cattle slaughter for months.

While the papers seem to be reporting this as an exclusive, the RSPCA admitted this themselves in their own press release on the subject not long after the 4 Corners episode aired. You can read it in the NB at the bottom here. The RSPCA claim it feared the Government would not have acted had it been shown the footage first, without the pressure it needed from the public. We covered it here.

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7. Bali bombing terror mastermind sentenced to 15-years more jail.

The once cocky Abu Bakar Bashir, who has spent a lifetime promoting jihad and is now 72, was said to have looked tired and defeated yesterday when the Court found him guilty of further terror offences relating to a training camp in Aceh. It is now likely he will die in jail.

8. Anthony Weiner, the US politician who tweeted his penis, has resigned.

Well, that was really only a matter of time. He said he hoped to continue to do the work his constituents elected him to do, but this was made impossible by the distraction he himself had created. Distraction, erection…it all sounds so similar.

9. Senior Scientologist church member allegedly coaches girl to lie about sex abuse.

The Church member is accused of telling an 11-year-old girl to hide the fact she was abused by her step-father. Yesterday, supporters of the accused clashed with media in Sydney.

Thoughts?