Why every mum needs a "post-nup"

When women give up their jobs to raise their children, even temporarily, not many think about the financial repercussions of this decision in the event of a divorce. Who would want to? Wrapped up in blissful thoughts of the baby that is about to enter your life, the last thing on your mind is what effect your decision to be a stay-at-home mum will have on your future.

Divorce financial advisor Jeff Landers is urging women to request a post-nup if they plan to be a stay-at-home mum. He has seen too many women disadvantaged by their decision to leave the workforce to raise their children, only to find themselves divorcing and struggling to re-enter it, with little compassion from their estranged partners.

Women leave themselves financially vulnerable when they take time out from their careers and in the event of a split, are competing for jobs with those who have been climbing the ladder all along. Women who are trying to re-enter the workforce are unlikely to take up where they left off and simply won’t be able to earn the kind of money they did previously. It will take time to regain their career momentum.

Jeff says he’s heard divorcing husbands say such things to their estranged wives as, “Before you stayed home you were making $50,000 a year, so you can go out and get a job for that, if not more” and “Well, it’s not my fault. It was your choice. You wanted to have children. You wanted to stay home with them. You could have gone out and worked, and in the meanwhile I was busting my rear end, and why are you entitled to any of this?”

It’s exactly scenarios like this he hopes to avoid with post-nups.

When couples decide who will stay home during those first few months or years to raise the baby, they should set out in a ‘binding financial agreement’ exactly how that person will be covered while they attempt to rebuild their career after taking time out for their family.

When I had my first child my husband and I agreed I would return to work just three months after his birth as my husband was working from home and could look after our son while I completed my morning shift. Then I was retrenched.

Instead of taking up one of three job offers I was presented with that would have seen me maintaining my career momentum, I turned them all down because our son developed food allergies.

After becoming used to me being at home with our son my husband didn’t understand why I wanted to return to the workforce a year later. I found a few odd jobs in my industry of choice but felt pressured not to take them.

I eventually started working casually, trying to maintain contacts and some momentum for the day when I would want to re-enter the workforce.

If we had split at this time I would have been clearly disadvantaged. My husband was kicking goals in his career because he hadn’t even taking a one day break when our child was born. I hadn’t worked full time for over a year and was taking odd jobs trying to find a way back in.

A post-nup would have covered me for the time it would take to re-enter the workforce and re-establish contacts. Luckily for me we didn’t split but I can see Launders’ point.

Jeff Landers’ new book is called Divorce: Think Financially, Not Emotionally – What Women Need To Know About Securing Their Financial Future Before, During, And After Divorce. He argues that having an agreement in place can actually lead to a happier marriage.

He writes for Today.com:

Money” is often cited as one of the top reasons for tension in a marriage. It’s extremely difficult to agree about what to spend, how much to save, when/where to invest, etc. Why add arguments about career paths and earning potential to this volatile mix? Have those difficult conversations now, while you have a clear head — not years down the road, when you’re feeling frustrated after reading about a colleague’s big promotion while you stayed up all night with a kid who has a stomach bug.

As you draw up your post-nup, both you and your husband can thoughtfully consider important factors, such as the amount of salary you’re sacrificing and the value (in dollars and cents) of the childcare you’re providing.

Because your post-nup clearly defines the issues surrounding your decision to leave your job, it’s likely you’ll find it strengthens your marriage. It can blunt future disagreements and will form the basis for continued constructive dialogue about your family finances.

The reality is that most of us will leave the workforce to raise children during our potentially highest-earning years. We do it happily, however when things go wrong, we deserve to be properly acknowledged and compensated.

Do you think post-nups are a good idea?