As a teenager and well into my 20’s, my wish list for life read much like a fairy tale shopping list. Achieve dream job – check; buy a new car – check, travel the world – check, meet Mr Right (or at least Mr Right for Friday night) – check, and wear the latest trends – check. Fall pregnant – err, not so much!
So fast-forward 10 years and the irony of sitting in a fertility clinic was certainly not lost on me. After years spent going all out to avoid getting pregnant, now here I was, having met Mr Right (for all Friday nights), flicking through magazines of gazing babies. Babies that I was convinced, after a long period of trying, that I would never have.
I hate to say it but, when you have been fortunate enough to have gone through life and pretty much achieved and received everything you have ever wanted, never is there a truer cliché than ‘you always want what you can’t have’.
And, at that time, I would have happily given anything just to "have" a baby.
Everything else I wanted prior just began to seem so, well … immaterial.
I would have worked for minimum wage in a dead-end job, not owned a car, never left my hometown and dressed in rags, if it meant that all of my previous wishes and dreams could be exchanged for the guarantee that I would one day hold my own child, rather than always everyone else’s.
And trust me, everyone else was having babies … I swear! Or it certainly felt that way at the time. I just couldn’t avoid it! Every time I went out there were millions of waddling women EVERYWHERE. I saw women caressing their bumps and smiling dreamily as they stocked up on super cute outfits in Target. I saw women asking for decaffeinated coffee at the café as they sat for a while and rested their swollen ankles and aching backs. And I saw expectant women sat at the park, on the train and in the street. There was just plain simply nowhere that was safe. Nowhere I could go and not be reminded of the fact that I was not and, (in my dramatic state of mind) ever likely to be pregnant!