We’ve all been there. A cheeky movie, or just one episode of Stranger Things before we sleep.
Next minute it’s 2am and you’re five episodes deep and you don’t care that your alarm clock is set for 6am. Exercise can wait and work will be fine in the morning. That “as-soon-as-you-get-in” meeting isn’t that important, surely? A few coffees and no one will know you’ve spent the entire night living in the “underworld”.
Netflix is not conducive to sleeping. We all know this.
And that, right there, is the genius behind “Napflix“. It’s a new streaming platform… of sleep-inducing movies.
These are movies that will guarantee you meet your 6am alarm.
Shows that will encourage you to get up and exercise in the morning.
Series that will keep your bosses on side, and not wondering what your moonlighting as because the rings around your eyes are darker than ever and you keep muttering strange phrases to yourself like “what about Eleven?”.
Napflix is a whole universe of lectures and mindless simulations and soothing videos of zen gardens and rain falling that are all designed for one purpose… to make you fall asleep.
Users can choose between categories such as education, religion, advertising and pick what they find most boring. They can even opt for “relax”. Think chess tournaments and Latin Masses alongside fish tanks and the BBC screen Test card.
Mamamia has some suggestions for Napflix:
- Golf tournaments.
- Documentaries on the British royal family.
- Infomercials back-to-back.
- Men’s soccer with the noise on mute.
- Lectures on biophysics at university (I’ve been there and I failed).
- Anything about Proactiv skincare.
- Talks from the school principal.
- Question Time in Parliament.
- Siri. Anything from Siri.
- Jon Voight reading bedtime stories.
We’ll just never know how good the Napflix content will be because we’ll be asleep 10 minutes in.
Sure, Napflix is clever and novel and will be a welcome addition to the laptops for those who suffer from insomnia. But it’s also solid evidence of one, glaring and inescapable habit of ours: We can’t do anything without technology.
We can’t ride the bus. Manage our money. Entertain ourselves … Fall asleep. Without the use of a screen.
What’s next? Netflix for conversation? Netflix for walking pets? Netflix for going to the bathroom?
