Warning: This post deals with suicide, and may be triggering for some readers.
Just a few short years ago, my entire life was turned upside down.
Whilst at work, I received a devastating phone call informing me that my partner had made an attempt on his life.
The depression and anxiety had come on suddenly and within a week, leaving this world seemed his only option.
What followed were several years of torment, anguish and unimaginable stress for not only myself, but for our children, close friends, and extended family as we rallied to help him through his darkest days.
We were committed to try anything that would help release the hold this hideous disease had over his mind and thoughts. All the while, we were dealing with a drastically overpopulated mental health care system that seemed unable to provide much other than sedatives, anti depressants and the occasional check in with a resident psychiatrist.
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I can definitely empathise, although it is my friend, not my partner. I don't know how difficult it would be to try and hold it together for your children and how not to be angry and how not to give up and how not to wish for a break. I am so sad for you. With my friend, I can choose to be unavailable if it gets too much for me (and it has, often), but her partner has to live with it day in day out. I hope your loved ones continue to support you and help to share this burden.
I am going through this and worry will my husband come home that evening. A lot of support for carers is needed. Hang on there all xccc