“I am gonna breastfeed the shit out my baby, meet my girlfriends for bulk coffee dates and look fabulous while I’m on maternity leave.” – Me, pre-baby.
Well didn’t I get a nice lovely slap in the face from reality once that big headed babe was ripped violently from my abdomen.
This one’s for all you mama’s and mama-to-be’s craving a hot coffee, feeling overwhelmed, feeling lost, freakin’ out, feeling alone or feeling like everyone else is getting it and you’re the odd one out.
Today, I’m busting six total BS misconceptions about motherhood! *Little spoiler, actually not you’re not alone!
1. It will all come so naturally.
Nope! Soz love it doesn’t! You will literally get home from the hospital and gaze into your baby’s eyes and go “So what the f-ck do I do now?”. I’m pretty sure your baby does too?! When a midwife is shoving your nipple in their face, claiming “the baby knows what to do” I’m almost certain the kid’s lying there going “lady why you shoving this thing at me?”. No one’s got any clue.
Listen to the latest episode of Mamamia’s parenting podcast, This Glorious Mess.
2. It’s all coffee dates and shopping.
Hahahahahahahaha HA HA that’s a hilarious joke! To anyone who thinks it’s all cappuccinos and Kmart, you are sadly mistaken! I think it actually takes me about seven months to successfully catch up with someone, and even then we both leave early with screaming child(ren) in tow vowing never to set foot in a cafe again.
Top Comments
There's no perfect way to raise a kid. Google 'good enough parenting', it's a helpful, reassuring resource. I love how kids bring out your absolute best and absolute worst. If anything, they teach you a thing or two about yourself.
Just never tell your kids you don't like them. My mother told me that as an adult and it's something I can never un-hear and made me feel that no one will ever like me if my own mother can't.
I would feel very sad if there is anything other than a very small percentage of women who think that these myths are true before they get their baby home. Sure, when you're not pregnant and going to be having a child depending on you 24/7 for the foreseeable future then it's easy to have misconceptions as to what caring for a baby is truly like. But if you get through a pregnancy and still believe that having a baby is all coffee dates and easy breastfeeding then you've really set yourself up for an awful disappointment and should perhaps learn to read, well, any of the baby and motherhood books that are out there.
I'd be inclined to agree with you, but as a child-free person, I am always gobsmacked at the amount of "what they never told you about motherhood" articles are out there, and how many mothers insist that nobody could possibly understand how tired/stressed/busy/etc they are. From my perspective, all of the potential challenges, pitfalls and difficulties of parenthood are plainly obvious, so I'm always taken aback at people (parents, mostly) who imply that it's some kind of revelation or surprise. It's hard work. Who'd have thunk it?
:( I knew it would be hard but I found it much harder than even the pregnancy books say. I don't think anyone goes into it thinking it will be easy - that doesn't mean they are ill informed when they find it difficult.
Although I had a lot stacked up against me, colic, breastfeeding issues, emergency c, and unable to speak the language of the country I live.
I'm certainly not saying that anyone who finds it difficult is an idiot, because that's pretty much every woman on the face of the earth. I'm more thinking about women who say that they never realised that they would have to be up multiple times per night to feed the baby, or that breastfeeding wouldn't necessarily come naturally, or that it might not be a walk in the park to lose the weight they put on during pregnancy. Things that every single modern mother / baby book covers.
I agree with all of this BUT... until you experience it, it's hard to comprehend how some things - eg ongoing sleep deprivation; lack of time to yourself; changes to you body etc - impact you. Hence it sometimes still feels like a revelation.