Dear Mila, Please stop with the weird birth statements. You're freaking people out.

When a celebrity is this vocal about sharing her fears about birth, is it helpful or harmful?

Dear Mila Kunis,

Congratulations on the pregnancy. Really. Such happy news. We’re all thrilled for you.

I’ve always thought you’re really, really funny. And, you know, talented and beautiful and interesting. Black Swan? Epic. Forgetting Sarah Marshall? Ba-ha-ha.

I also respect the lengths you and your fiancé Ashton Kutcher have gone to to keep your relationship under wraps. Very classy.

But suddenly, you’re doing lots of talking. Which is great, because we love to hear high-profile people talk about their lives. Of course.

But, please, could you stop talking about pregnancy and birth like it’s 1985?

Because, you know, it's not. First up, you managed to annoy a lot of (possibly overly sensitive) people by declaring your intention for a "natural" birth. Making calls like that always rub women up the wrong way, because we want to know why that's an important goal to have, rather than just a positive experience and a healthy baby. But hey, many of us start out our pregnancy with exactly the same intention, so no biggie.

Then you did that very funny skit on Jimmy Kimmel about how men have no right to say "We're pregnant."

Cute, but come off it, Mila. Excuse me for a minute while I lose my sense of humour.

That's a man's baby in there, and no, he's not going to "Squeeze a watermelon-sized person out of [his] lady hole," but making men feel like they're not allowed to be part of your pregnancy is not helpful.

Their life is also about to change irrevocably, and they're living with you and your Bette Midler-induced sobbing and ice-creamy demands. You want them to be in this with you, right? Pregnancy and the first year of parenthood is a massive pressure point in relationships and not all of them make it through. So why not let them feel pregnant, too, if it makes them happy.

And then, today, I read this one, from Marie Claire:

“Two people are allowed in my delivery room. My doctor and my significant other. And he is staying above the action. He’ll be head to head. Not head to vag. Unless he wants to risk his life and see. But I wouldn’t if I were him. I highly doubt he wants to see that being ripped apart and shredded. Because it will be shredded. It’s just a matter of how badly.”

Shredded. Really? What are you planning? Babies don't chew their way out, you know.

You're just scaring the young people to death with that talk, Mila.

There's nothing pleasant about tearing, which, let's be honest, is not that unlikely with a vaginal birth. But look, many of us have lived through it more than once without anything being "shredded". Jesus, I'm crossing my legs just reading that, and I've had two children. 

During my last labour, I paused post-contraction to ask my partner if he was okay, he looked so distressed, and he was at the "head end". But many other men find the experience of watching their child be born the most profound of their lives.

And many surprise themselves by wanting to see something mind-blowing that they never thought they would.

But I can tell you with confidence that in that moment when your life changes forever, there are way bigger concerns than the prettiness or otherwise of your nether regions.

That's all.

But hey, lots of luck with everything.

Holly.

What do you think? Do you think horror stories from women who haven't given birth are unhelpful, or all part of the experience?

Want more? Try this:

Mila Kunis tells men to shut up. You are not pregnant.

Apparently, we’re not all “mum enough” for a natural birth.