I’ve thought all week about whether or not to write a follow-up to my column on Sunday night about the link between alcohol and sexual assault.
The response, almost as soon as it was published was – from some on Twitter – absolutely vicious. It was personal, it was furious, it was often defamatory, it willfully misrepresented what I had said and it was in many cases totally inaccurate.
It served to turn what could and should have been a civilised discussion into an incredibly heated and personally abusive shitfight. One that continues almost a week later, having made its way into the mainstream media and beyond.
Not all of the debate was like that, of course. Some people who disagreed with what I’d said or who had different perspectives shared them on Facebook, in the comments on Mamamia and occasionally on Twitter and remained civil.
But many didn’t. Many people didn’t even read what I’d written, preferring to be swept into the Twitter frenzy. And a handful of the most vocal Tweeters are well known to be people who simply love to jump on board any opportunity to have a go at me personally, no matter what the subject.
I don’t want to make this about me. I’m not asking for your sympathy or your flowers.
I’m just explaining why I’ve decided to write this follow-up and answer some of the outrageous accusations and slanderous statements that have been made about my views on the subject of sexual assault this week.
While I can’t prevent people from disagreeing with me or even abusing me, I don’t have to passively accept it.
Because you know why? I believe in what I’m saying and I’m damned if I’m going to let this very important message be hijacked by those who are deliberately misrepresenting it – and me.
I have chosen not to get involved on Twitter because there have literally been thousands and thousands of tweets and retweets (I’ve noticed that while many people have become involved in the discussion, Twitter has been all about a few individuals doing something we call power-posting; repeating themselves again and again, very loudly and RT’ing every single tweet that agrees with them).
So instead, I thought I’d answer the most common criticisms here instead. To set the record straight.
“Mia Freedman is pro-rape.” This is repugnant. Not even the most twisted mind could rationally take that sentiment away from what I wrote. It’s here. Please read it if you want to have an informed conversation about it.
“Mia Freedman is blaming rape victims for causing their own sexual assault.” Again, please. I explicitly and repeatedly stated in my original column that a victim of sexual assault is never, ever, ever at fault. I cannot emphasise that enough. The idea of a rape victim doing something to ‘cause’ a crime is one that has been comprehensively rejected for decades now. As it should be. I simply pointed out the connection between alcohol and sexual assault as a RISK factor – not a causal one. If you don’t understand the difference, you need to, before you start making outrageous and patently false statements about what I believe.
Top Comments
This is kinda a good (long) read. There is never enough sociology on this site. You guys need a sociologist in residence.
http://badassdigest.com/201...
Sorry Mia, I understand what you are saying but I still have to say that I respectfully disagree. I find what you are saying here very upsetting and insensitive. Have you actually spoken with any rape survivors in which alcohol was "involved" before writing this? In my personal experience of being raped it was in the SAFETY of a friend's home - one of many regular sleep overs at my best friend's house which resulted in us drinking, socialising and watching a movie but ended with me waking up in the middle of the night being raped by my friend's "trusted" older brother. I was not a binge drinker and do not drink regularly - so just having a few drinks can make me quite drunk and that night I had gone to bed drunk at their house rather than drive home! You know, because of the risk of car accidents when drink driving. It took me many years to come to realise that it was not my fault for getting drunk and getting raped but rather it was his fault for raping me. I know you are saying you aren't saying it, but it does really sound like you are suggesting women should never drink. Well maybe you are right because now that I had that experience I don't drink at all because the feeling of being just a little bit tipsy is very triggering for me. And you wouldn't believe the reactions I get from men when they offer to buy me a drink and I insist they buy me only a bottle of water with the cap on. They take me as some kind of bore. Once a guy even retracted his offer to buy me a drink and walked away. Interesting isn't it!