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"Why I planned the perfect Proposal Payback for my fiancé."

I am a humanist. I believe in equality for all humans. Yet I still see so many inequalities in male female relationship roles, and I think a lot of them have been created by Rachel McAdams.

I’m not suggesting we all boycott Rachel McAdams’ movies, and I’m certainly not having a dig at her. I love her – in fact I think I love every Rachel McAdams’ movie ever. But the girl waiting around for her prince to show up and be perfect is just not reality.

And so, since it’s all on our guy to plan and execute the perfect proposal, why not create a little proposal payback for your guy? I did.

There are many examples of chicks popping the question. For example, I am pretty sure Pink proposed to Carey Hart (I’m not sure if he re-proposed to her after their brief separation though). And I am pretty sure that on February 29th every four years (that leap year) it’s encouraged that a girl will get down on one knee.

Growing up watching Disney movies (and Rachael McAdams), it’s difficult not to have huge expectations when it comes to proposals. And everyone wants to know two things as soon as they hear the news.

Firstly, how big the rock is, and secondly, how he did it. Unless it plays out like a Shonda Rhymes masterpiece – and gets well over two hundred likes on Facebook alone – you would think somehow you had failed at being proposed to.

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Who’s to say that your bloke doesn’t want a day to remember that’s all about him and not just the four C’s? (Or is it five – I’m not even sure?) Guys want all the feels too. He wants to feel all smushy inside and get giddy thinking about how totally special he is – he just says it in a different way to us chicks. Everyone should have that moment. See, humanist!

To counter this societal pressure placed on our lads, I’ve come up what I like to call Proposal Payback. After all, who says (other than Disney) that it’s just us chicks that want the romance? I planned a night where (hopefully) I would make him smile as much as I did when he popped the question. And to answer the two (according to society) most important questions:

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a) How big was the rock? Well, it was insane, because I planned a private dinner in a cave on a deserted beach.

b) How did she do it? I told him to wear a nice shirt (and pants) and be ready at 5pm. We were collected from our villa in Seminyak and driven an hour away. He guessed it was dinner, the timing really gave that away. It was 5pm and we were to be at our destination in an hour. We love a seniors’ dinner and a sunset, so no detective’s hat was needed to figure out it was a dinner date. We arrived at a beautiful resort and were greeted by two gorgeous Balinese staff who asked, if we were “here for the experience”. (I had asked the staff to keep the whole thing a secret.) I replied with yes and a wink back. In hindsight, I have no idea why I winked. It just felt right.

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We quickly piled into the back of a Jeep and set off away from the resort, my nerves picking up, and my fiancée picking up on them too.

“Where are we going?” he asked. “Not sure,” I replied quite honestly, because I actually didn’t know. We headed down a steep long driveway surrounded by jungle and ended up at a beach. We drove along the sand for a few hundred metres until we finally stopped and hopped out, being led further along the sand to a cave. A private, glorious cave.

Our own private cave, littered with tea lights.

Our own private cave, on the beach with the waves almost at our feet, where we would watch the sunset and dine on fresh seafood. It was the most magical night and one of the best dinners, and we both loved it! It was a “thank you for asking me to marry you” date, and it really was unforgettable.

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So plan away my fiances! Here are three tips to plan the Perfect Proposal Payback.

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Let’s be honest, dudes are just different, and I know they are all unique like a snowflake but I reckon if you stick with these three things you’ll nail it. (And guys are a lot less complex than us  – that’s just science.)

1. Food is a huge priority. If the guy is 6’1 with arms like the Hulk or not, he is a guy and he wants to eat food. Always make sure that it is based around eating.

2. Appeal to his senses, not just his sensitive side. My guy loves the outdoors, the beach and adventure, so I found something that included those things. If your guy likes computers, then find the Robot pop up restaurant and surprise him there. Tailor the date to make it memorable for him. A simple interesting car ride to the venue can be the cherry on the top, if he likes old cars, hire one, if he likes comics and Superheroes, hire the Transformers limo! Be creative and have fun planning.

3. Plan it well in advance, and be okay with sticking the plan in the bin. I am a planner, an avid one and I like it when things go to plan, however, due to recent events in my life I am getting really good at adjusting when things don’t go according to my plan. If it rains, embrace it. If the car doesn’t show up, make it part of the adventure. Just let him think it was all a part of the plan!

Remember ladies, guys don’t watch Rachel McAdams’ movies as much as we do. Or do they? There isn’t a huge life long pent up expectation on a Proposal Payback, so just have fun and treat your bloke to a surprise night out.

If you feed him and make him feel like he is the ‘only guy in the world’, you’ve done a good job. And we should spoil our guys as much as they spoil us. It’s only fair.

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