Look. I’ll be honest with you. I am quietly devastated that Married at First Sight is over.
The tumultuous reality show has been an excellent distraction from the hum drum of my daily life. Scandal, romance, deceit – and time on the couch in my pink, fluffy dressing gown – this reality goldmine delivered the goods four nights a week.
Now the show has ended, thousands of Australians are undoubtedly feeling lost and hopeless. For the well-being of the community, I’ve compiled a handy guide to help you fill the Married at First Sight void in your life.
Conduct an experiment
Married at First Sight was at heart a show about “the experiment” – and being someone driven by the noble pursuit of knowledge, I relished the opportunity to participate in this astonishing scientific investigation.
At times, I was humbled by the contestants willingness to put their personal lives in the petri dish in the name of science.
Every episode, I donned my white lab coat (pink fluffy dressing gown) as we asked the big questions: Why does Tracey have a framed picture of Oprah in her home? Is Davina for real? And does what happens on boys’ night really stay in boys’ night?
In this post Stephen Hawking age, it’s vital we continue our quest for knowledge. Obviously, the best way to quench this thirst is to watch Bachelor in Paradise.
Join an online dating service
When news broke yesterday that Sarah and Telv were no longer together, it meant only one thing – love is dead.
Now your hopes and aspirations to find a soulmate are dashed, there’s no better time to download a dating app.
Tinder is perfect if you aspire to meet someone who has been to the tiger temple or perhaps Machu Picchu. Don’t worry if your date doesn’t work out – now our favourite couple has been torn asunder, all hope is lost.