news

This rant against marriage equality is so utterly ridiculous, it's kind of funny.

Apparently, marriage equality in Australia absolutely MUST NOT go ahead. Or the tradies of our nation will descend into confused chaos. Why? Because everything tradies understand about marital relationships, they have learned from powerpoints and adapters. OBVIOUSLY. In a bizarre (yet sadly, real) press release from Family Voice Australia, a ‘research officer’ has determined that gay marriage doesn’t make sense because of wall sockets. And it looks like the ‘Family’ in ‘Family Voice’ only includes pairings of peepees and weewees. Here’s the expert opinion:

“As any tradie can tell you, marriage has always been a joining of two opposites.  You cannot properly unite two of the same. By definition, marriage is a complementary, male-female union.  Only that union has the potential to create and raise children with both male and female role models.” Let’s not confuse apprentice electricians, plumbers and carpenters in the ACT – lest the lights go out, the drains leak and the chairs collapse in the Legislative Assembly!”

They even included a helpful diagram for those who are still a little confused:

  Of course! The outie bit goes inside the innie bit! And gay people can’t do that. CASE CLOSED.

00:00 / ???