"Madonna has now become a parody of herself."

Oh Madge. You’ve done it again. Being all shocking and provocative and copping malicious mocking for doing so.

As a fan and a woman not that much younger than you, I’m now so conflicted it actually hurts.

As does watching the video of what happened at the Coachella Festival in California yesterday. Madonna appeared with the Canadian performer Drake. She sang a few numbers, simulated a little lap dance and then pulled his head back and kissed him.

As you can see after the pash, the 28 year old Drake fell forward in a grimace and covered his mouth like he was going to vomit. He said later it was about the taste of Madonna’s lipstick but it looked more like revulsion to me.

If the kiss was staged and rehearsed, then so was his reaction, and the man is an utter pig. If it wasn’t staged, Madonna probably went too far, as she likes to do. I admit, I grimaced.

But I’m also appalled by Drake’s reaction and the outcry that followed. Madonna has been mocked as a vampire and a Dementor sucking out his youth. She’s been called a ‘tentacled suction-cupped beast’,a ‘sexual abuser’ and just plain ‘creepy’.

Madonna has copped it with her usual defiance.

But I'm confused and conflicted.

Madonna has now become a parody of herself. The ‘Bitch, I’m Madonna’ strut:

The gold grill on her teeth, the gyrating with young dancers, the posing topless.

The flashing of her butt:

The dating of the young dancers is becoming all too clichéd and, dare I say it, old. And this performance on Jimmy Fallon trying to do stand up about dating younger men was beyond embarrassing.

Madonna has always been deliberately provocative but it’s all becoming too predictable. Her stunts are as empty and as silly as Miley Cyrus twerking and sticking her tongue out. She’s trying too hard. While I admire the idea of a woman refusing to embrace the rules of ageing it’s done in such a rather obvious and immature way that it’s a bit sad.

BUT...

On the other hand I feel hurt and defiance for Madonna. She is an icon. We loved her and grew up with her, we did her dances, sang her songs, copied her fashions. She showed us how to be tough, to be sexual, to be strong.  I like seeing a woman in her fifties who is still sexual and in charge. I detest the whole cougar commentary that is rarely levelled at blokes and the asides about how a mother of four should behave.

The scorn about her ageing amazing body is visceral and it should upset us all. Because the hatred of Madonna's body and her sexuality tells all women that we are mocked if we try to stay young and sexy and dismissed if we don’t.

And not now........... Not ever! #unapolgeticbitch

A photo posted by Madonna (@madonna) on Apr 13, 2015 at 9:22pm PDT

The fury at Madonna’s longevity is also frustrating. Why should Madonna end her career and be put out to pasture? She’s 56 not 100. The Rolling Stones are still pelvic thrusting their guitars and most are aged over 70. We all held our breath when Madonna fell down recently on stage at the Brit Awards, but despite being nearly strangled by her cape, she just got right back up and kept singing. Respect.

Madonna was and probably still is the Queen of Pop. Lady Gaga, Sia, Miley and even Taylor Swift owe her a lot. She showed them how to take charge of their career and how to harness the talent of others – in fashion, photography, styling, concert production, choreography and music. She encouraged a generation of women to ‘express yourself', to be sexual and ambitious. I don't want her to disappear.

Madonna has always liked to push the envelope. From ‘Like a Virgin’, to her 'Sex' coffee table book, to her pointy bras to her kissing of Britney Spears at the MTV awards in 2003. She’s now trying to shock and appall us about how women should age. It’s not subtle, it’s not even that smart but the gross out reaction is out of proportion.

I want Madonna to keep challenging us, but I just want her to do it in a bit more creative and interesting way.

Until that happens, I’ll stay conflicted, but to all the young kids mocking her I say this. Drake sings a song about making a girl he likes as big as Madonna. No bloke made Madonna, she made herself.

Are you a Madonna fan?