'I always prided myself in being a 'low maintenance girl'. But I was lying to myself.'

Low maintenance girls are like modern-day unicorns. Men are always chasing that elusive dream of effortless love, while women want to believe they’re the only ones with a naturally grown horn.

The low maintenance girl is the epitome of the chill girlfriend. The one who takes no time to get ready to go out. The one who wears no makeup and doesn’t care about clothing. The one who’s easy-going and doesn’t require any pampering. The attractive girl-next-door that just wants to hang out.

You know the one.

Watch: The horoscopes working out. Post continues below.

We all want to believe we are that rare breed of low maintenance gal.

The one who drinks beer while cheering on sports teams. The one that snorts when she laughs and isn’t afraid to burp in public.

You know — the one who looks like a woman and acts like a man.

You know — the one who’s mastered that perfect combination of being sexually attractive while also claiming to be “one of the boys.”

Belonging to a small gym means I’m often witness to the same group of fellow members trying to get their fitness on.

There are many unique characters that frequent my gym, but none of them have piqued my interest as much as Anya.

Anya is a fascinating creature.

Likely in her mid-twenties, her skin-tight clothing gives away the straps of her push-up bra that she wears in place of a sports bra. Her hair stretches all the way to her bubbly behind and is always perfectly groomed and never restrained by a bun or ponytail.

With her makeup thoroughly plastered on her face, Anya spends more time walking around aimlessly looking at her phone than she does picking up the two-kilo dumbbells that she happens upon approximately every ten minutes.

While my face turns beet red, the back of my neck drips with perspiration, and my ponytail becomes more tangled with each stride on the treadmill, Anya never breaks a sweat.

Why someone who clearly had no intention of exercising would pay a monthly gym membership fee was beyond my comprehension.

The only possible explanation for this behaviour was that all of it was a facade to pick up men.

Without knowing her or even ever speaking to her, Anya got under my skin.

She was the prime example of a girl I would judge as high-maintenance.

She was someone who cared way too much for her outward appearance. Someone who appeared to be purposely luring the opposite sex with false pretences.

Someone who was materialistic.

Someone who was not genuine.

I, on the other hand, have always prided myself on being the opposite — I have never been a horse.

Clearly, I grew my horn and spread my wings a long time ago.

I was that mythological creature.

I was the one who wore minimal makeup and rarely wore jewellery. The one who wore the same vintage sweater for half my high school and college careers and now the one who wore the same pair of work pants for at least three workdays in a row. 

The one who stubbornly wore thongs all winter long. The one who could get herself and two kids ready for work and school and out the door in a record thirty minutes.

The one who needed nothing.

That’s the strange paradox of the low maintenance girl.

The actual allure is the facade of having no needs of our own.

We’re expected to naturally exude beauty while appearing as if we put forth no effort to do so. We’re expected to be easy-going, which in reality means that we go with the flow and put others’ needs before our own. We’re expected to do what we know will attract the opposite sex while appearing as if we’re doing nothing but what we want to do.

But, who’s really wearing the mask?

Purporting to be low maintenance is just as much an act as wearing a mask of heavy makeup.

It’s all done in an effort to impress and attract others.

Most of us wear at least some make-up.

I do.

Every day.

In fact, like many others, I eat up the “all natural” lines of makeup and hair products that promise the appearance of not wearing anything extra.

Most of us do our hair the way we think makes us look attractive. We blow-dry it, straighten or curl it, put product in it, and cover up those pesky greys with “natural-looking” dyes.

I may go to the gym with the primary purpose of becoming healthier, but I’m also well aware that looking slim and fit is an added bonus.

None of us are completely without vanity.

In reality, the illusion of being low-maintenance is an act.

It’s not any more genuine than the obvious fakeness of high maintenance girls.

Low maintenance girls are just better at keeping the secret.

Every relationship requires work, effort, and a recognition of another human’s needs. High maintenance or low maintenance, it doesn’t matter.

We just go about obtaining it in different ways.

We’re all humans with needs — needs to attach, to be intimate, to belong, to be appreciated, to be heard and validated, and to be loved.

By labelling ourselves as “low maintenance,” we try to make ourselves attractive by claiming we have no needs of our own.

We don’t need your money or gifts. We don’t need your time, your energy, or your attention.

We are cool as cucumbers.

We pretend that the best relationships take no maintenance. We convince others that we’re willing to give ourselves to them without anything in return. 

And, that’s the biggest lie of them all.

This post originally appeared on Medium and has been republished with full permission. For more from Kelsey Jane, you can find her on Medium.

Feature Image: Getty