One of the most heartbreaking, brutally honest TV segments ever.

Last night, seven minutes of television left me bawling alone in my room. Total heaving, snot-crying.

It was completely unexpected because it came at the end of an episode of Louie, which is actually a comedy. Written by and starring stand-up comedian Louis CK, the show is filled with uncomfortable, confronting, but always hilarious observations on the parts of life we don’t often talk about. Seriously – watch it.

Anyway, last night’s episode was called ‘And so did the fat lady’. Take a look at this scene:

For those who can’t watch, here’s the basic set-up:

Vanessa (played to perfection by Sarah Baker) is a waitress at the comedy club where Louie does stand-up. She is friendly, funny, pretty, sweet and just generally an awesome lady. She is also fat.

Louie constantly hits on virtually every woman in the club and gets rejected. Conversely, Vanessa hits on Louie several times and he rejects her. He clearly likes her – the camera catches him several times sneaking glances at her and smiling during her hilarious interactions with customers – but he’s not interested in dating her.

Finally, he accepts one of her invitations and the two spend all night walking around the city, talking and laughing and connecting in a way you rarely see him connect with other women on the show.

Then, Louie starts lamenting how hard it is for him to get a date and Vanessa calls him on his bullshit.

She spends the next few minutes explaining to Louie that he has no idea what it means to have trouble dating. She schools him on what it’s like trying to date when you’re a fat girl.

And it’s one of the most heartbreaking and brutally honest pieces of television I have ever seen.

The transcript is below:

Vanessa: Try dating in New York in your early 30s as a fat girl.

Louie: You’re not –  mean… You’re not fat.

Vanessa: Ugh, dammit. That is so goddamn disappointing, Louie.

Louie, you know what the meanest thing is you can say to a fat girl? “You’re not fat.” I mean, come on, buddy. It just sucks. It really, really sucks. You have no idea. And the worst part is, I’m not even supposed to do this.

Louie: Do what?

Vanessa: Tell anyone how bad it sucks because it’s too much for people. I mean, you, you can talk into the microphone and say you can’t get a date, you’re overweight. It’s adorable. But if I say it, they call the suicide hotline on me.

I mean, can I just say it? I’m fat. It sucks to be a fat girl. Can people just let me say it? It sucks. It really sucks. And I’m going to go ahead and say it. It’s your fault.

Look, I really like you, you’re truly a good guy, I think. I’m so sorry. I’m picking you. On behalf of all the fat girls, I’m making you represent all the guys. Why do you hate us so much? What is about the basics of human happiness, feeling attractive, feeling loved, having guys chase after us, that’s just not in the cards for us? Nope. Not for us.

How is that fair? And why am I supposed to just accept it?

Louie: You know, Vanessa, you’re a very, really beautiful—

Vanessa: If I was ‘a very, really beautiful’, then you would have said yes when I asked you out. I mean, come on, Louie, be honest here.

You know what’s funny? I flirt with guys all the time. And I mean the great looking ones, the really high-caliber studs? They flirt right back, no problem. Because they know their status will never be questioned. But guys like you never flirt with me because you get scared that maybe you should be with a girl like me.

And why not? You know, if you were standing over there looking at us, you know what you’d see? That we totally match. We’re actually a great couple together. And yet, you would never date a girl like me. Have you ever dated a girl that was heavier than you? Have you?

Louie: Yes I have. Yes I have.

Vanessa: No no no, I didn’t say have you ever ‘fucked’ a fat girl, Louie. I’m sure you have. Every guy has. I mean – when I met you, if I had said, “Hey, do you want to go to the bathroom and screw on a big can of peaches?” you would have gone for it.

No, I’m saying, have you ever dated a fat girl. Have you ever kissed a fat girl? Have you ever wooed a fat girl? Have you ever held hands with a fat girl? Have you ever walked down the street in the light of day, holding hands, with a big girl like me?

Go ahead. Hold my hand. What do you think is going to happen? You think your dick is going to fall off if you hold hands with a fat girl?

You know what the sad thing is? It’s all I want. I mean, I can get laid. Any woman who is willing can get laid. I don’t want that. I don’t even need a boyfriend or a husband. All I want is to hold hands with a nice guy, and walk and talk –

That scene left me in tears because Louis (who wrote it by the way), articulated what it’s like to be a fat woman so perfectly. It just hit me in the guts.

Here’s the thing about being fat – you’re meant to just accept that nobody will ever love you. You’re meant to just accept that you don’t deserve romance because you don’t look the way you’re supposed to. You’re meant to just accept that the world you live in considers you worthless.

You’re meant to just accept that no matter how much you love and accept yourself, nobody else will ever love and accept you. You’re meant to just accept that it’s your fault nobody wants you. You’re meant to just accept that nobody will ever be romantically interested in you.

Vanessa isn’t sad or angry about being fat – she seems fine describing herself that way and comfortable in her skin. She is sad and angry about the fact that society dictates she’s not good enough to be seen holding hands with a man because of how she looks.

I can’t even tell you how upsetting it is to know that men don’t want to be seen holding your hand.

As a fat woman, society says that love isn’t for you. And as fucking epically unfair as that is, it’s just not going to change.

That’s why I cried.

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