It’s almost Christmas and while we’re all busy with last minute preparations and shopping, one woman received a devastating letter with the potential to shake up her life.
In a post to UK’s BabyCentre, the woman asked for help after she received a letter in the mail telling her that her partner of two years is cheating on her.
The anonymous letter, which claimed to have been sent by her paramedic boyfriend’s co-worker, also said he’s got a Tinder profile and another profile on a dating site.
Listen: A Mamamia Out Loud listener has a slightly different dilemma that’s equally agonising. (Post continues…)
“We just moved in together and we’ve done up my house, rented out his and literally just got a dog,” she says.
“It’s Christmas. Our ‘anniversary’ is Christmas day. I’m distraught.”
“My question is what can I do about the letter?”
In subsequent comments, the woman admits that she may be “clutching at straws”, but is hoping the letter may be a joke or someone trying to break them up.
“Why would he do it though, why rent out his house, spend ages doing up my house (new kitchen, plumbing etc) sell all his furniture… I just don’t get it,” she says.
“I found the dating profile and it is him but the photos are old and from Facebook (public). The letter also said he stopped using it a while ago and the location is miles away. If I confront him with it he will deny it I’m sure and say it’s a joke – could it be a joke?
“I don’t think that any of his colleagues would send the letter – it’s only a small team and he could easily confront them all individually.”
It’s certainly a dilemma. If she’s worried there’s not enough evidence to confront him, should she do it anyway?
Top Comments
No. The most important thing is NOT why someone did or did not cheat - that reason always, always boils down to ''because I felt entitled to deceive and betray you. I felt entitled to play by my own rules without giving the person I'm supposed to love a heads up. I'm so, so soz... now that I've been caught, obv, but the main reason is because I am entitled.'' There are no other real reasons. Let's stop giving cheaters centrality; how do you FEEL, why are you WOUNDED... no. Let's rather ask the victim what her standards are and where his or her boundaries are and how he or she feels. In this case, I'd ask a straight question and see where the chips fall. Any prevarication would be an immediate clue that this person feels quite entitled to behave as they choose, while holding the victim to a far loftier set of standards.
How a cheater feels is entirely secondary. How does the victim feel is more important.