entertainment

Advertising advice? Go the lesbian

There is a lot of boo-hooing from junior creative people in advertising these days. Apparently they have it tough. The media landscape is changing so fast it’s hard to keep up; research is killing all fresh thinking … lunches aren’t as long as they were. As a veteran of the industry I say, you kids don’t know how good you’ve got it. Why? Well for a start, you can use lesbians in your ads! Not just any lesbians though – hot lesbians. Of course they don’t have to be real lesbians, any statuesque long-haired, big-breasted woman prepared to snog similar for standard day rate will do. (Note: They must be having sex, or at the very least, appear desperate to have sex. If not, they could be just friends, and where’s the fun in that?)

Get it right and, the use of lesbians opens a world of attention-grabbing opportunity for the modern advertising creative. And the best part? The ads don’t even need to be for lesbian-specific products. They can be for anything. Here are two examples. One for cars and one for clothes.

It wasn’t like that in my day, no sir-ee. We had to use boring old straight people. I wished it wasn’t so. But I was a voice in the wilderness. The number of scripts I wrote for cake mix, banks and fixed-price car servicing that read, ‘Open on lesbians pashing …’ that got killed by small-minded clients obsessed with relevance would break your heart. I was forced to make ads focusing on inherent product benefits. Dull, dull, dull. No wonder none of my early ads never became YouTube sensations – no lesbians. Also, no YouTube. What do you think about wild gay women in ads? Sexy, smart or just plain stupid?