rogue

Spiral notebooks, smudging and... scissors: 8 things left-handed people know to be true.

 Listen to this story being read by Chelsea McLaughlin here.


Hello, fellow lefties.

We don’t know each other, but we know each other’s struggles.

As a child, I was proud of the fact I held a pencil and wrote with my left hand. Other kids would say it looked ‘awkward’ or ‘uncomfortable’ and I’d be like, ‘whatever, man, I’m part of an exclusive 10 per cent of the population and you’re boring‘.

Then I’d glance down and notice my hand was fully black from my pinky finger down. Oh. Cool.

While being a lefty makes us unique, it also comes with a whole bunch of inconvenience.

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In a world made for right-handed people, we do it tough. There’s a whole bunch of daily inconveniences and struggles that right-handed people don’t ever have to think about.

Case in point:

1. Smudging.

A heartfelt birthday card from a lefty usually reads: “Mum, Happy birthday! I hope you have a wonderful dafhiohiosdfbjiasdgbigiudfhi”

The rest is unreadable, because it’s smudged, and the letters which once strung together a nice sentence about how much you love your mum are now jumbled up on the side of your hand.

2. Speaking of the side of your hand…

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Every left-handed person has used an eraser on their hand at least once.

3. The inability to use normal items normally.

One time I was trying to iron a crinkled shirt when my mum came over, shooed me out the way and yelled at me because “HOLY SHIT YOU LOOK SO PAINFULLY AWKWARD LET ME DO IT YOU BLOODY LEFTY”.

And don’t even get me started on scissors and can openers, both of which are entirely out to get me.

4. Being seated next to a right-handed person is… painful.

How many times can we bang elbows while trying to enjoy this lovely meal, huh?

5. The… intrigue from anyone who sees you pick up a pen.

“Omg, I didn’t know you were left-handed,” they yell, as if you’ve got the word “FREAK” written on your forehead.

And then they forget and ask you again six months down the track. Sigh.

6. Spiral notebooks are the devil.

Yeah nah, it’s not that fun to try and write while my hand is being STOPPED by those bloody rings. And more than a decade on, I’m still triggered by the thought of ring binders used in high school.

7. Shaking hands, handing over money, just generally interacting with another human being.

Sure, I could spend the five minutes I’m waiting in line perfecting what I’m going to order, but instead I’ll just spend the entire time stressing about what hand I need to use to hand over my coins, and then still fumble.

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8. “YoU mUsT bE sO cReAtIvE!”

I am, thank you, it’s because I’ve spent my entire life having to devise unique and clever ways to use equipment that is not designed for me!!!


See? Adversity is real in the life of a lefty. Solidarity, friends.

*Salutes…. with left hand*

Feature image: Getty/Twitter @BarbSquarb.