By BEC SPARROW
I need to pour myself a large wine just to write this post.
Okay. So. Last week I found out my four-year-old daughter Ava gave a close friend’s eight-year-old daughter the sex talk.
Holy mother of pearl.
Now before we all lose our minds, I will say it wasn’t the full blown ‘and the man’s penis goes into …’ sex talk. Nope, it was more the babies-come-out-your-vagina type of talk. Well more a statement really. Ever since I was pregnant with Quincy and explained to Ava how I’d be having a caesarean she’s been most alarmed.
“What do you mean someone has to cut open your tummy? I don’t want anyone cutting open my tummy EVER!”
She looked at me waiting for a response.
So I did what any mother would do in this situation. I said, “Fine. Now here’s a cheese stick. Go eat that in the playroom while mummy watches Ellen…”
I’m joking, of course. (Maybe). I casually explained to her the other way babies can be born. And let’s all say this together shall we? THROUGH YOUR VAGINA.
And then I gave her a cheese stick and sent her away.
Ava meanwhile thought this whole vagina caper was both fantastic and completely ridiculous (initially her eyes narrowed in case she was being punked). But once she accepted the notion that a baby can indeed slide out your va-jayjay (I may have made it sound like a Bouncy Castle slide) she’s let it be known to me repeatedly that when the time comes for her to have babies, she’d be having them out her vagina.