Everything you don't want to admit you want to know about THAT photoshoot.

We know. It’s almost annoying.

Kim broke the internet. Or, as Jimmy Kimmel said, “She may not have broken the internet, but she definitely put a crack in it.”

Butt But just in case you can’t stop looking at it (just like the rest of the internet), here’s a few things from behind the scenes.

BTB. Behind the Butt.

WHO MADE HER ASS SO SHINY?

Kim’s full-time oiler. Well, not quite. His name is Mario Dedivanovic, and he has been Kim’s make-up artist for seven years. That probably involves oiling Kim’s bum more than he realised. In the past, he’s even spent precious minutes decorating her butt with sand for a beach shoot. Hard knock life.

WHY DID SHE GO FULL NUDEY?

This is what Mickey Boardman, Paper magazine’s editorial director said: “It was her idea to take off her clothes and show more than her butt. But we [Paper] didn’t say “let’s do a cover with your butt hanging out.” She said she was willing to take her clothes off and one thing lead to another.”

It sure did lead to another. Apparently, Kim and the super famous photographer Jean-Paul Goude had only planned on recreating the iconic picture from 30 years ago.

A source said, “That was it. But Jean-Paul and Kim hit it off and they asked everyone to leave and they both got creative. No publicist, no magazine execs.”

WHEN DID IT HAPPEN?

September this year, during Spring Fashion Week. My, my, Kim kept that quiet…

WAS KANYE THERE?

According to gossip sites today, yes. A ‘source’ even said “Kanye would never let Kim be naked in a room if he was not present.” And yet, he let another man oil her butt. Sigh. Lifestyles of the rich and the famous.

HOW PHOTOSHOPPED IS IT?

The man from the magazine, Mickey, said “It is not padded. It is not augmented. That is all really her. That’s really what she looks like. That’s her. I would say it’s the normal amount of retouching that’s on a normal cover.”

Believe that if you want to. We don’t…

WHERE IS HER… HAIR?

Probably in a beautician’s bin, with a whole bunch of wax strips.

CAN KIM ACTUALLY BALANCE A GLASS ON HER ASS?

Probably not. The photographer is also a graphic designer and illustrator, AND there was a ‘digital imager’ (a photoshopper) credited in the shoot. The champagne flow was fake. And there was probably a few other tricks in there too.

WHY IS SHE SO HAPPY?

She just loves being nakey. Or, she’s drunk on ass-glass champagne. Either way, she’s having a ball in the buff.

Okay, internet. As you were.

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