The other day my 7 year old handed me a petrified dog poo and asked me what it was. For real. Sure, I was disgusted. Sure, I almost lost my lunch but I was also suddenly aware that the fossilised dog turd in my hand (yes, I am as disturbed by this as you are) was something my child had not seen before because let’s face it, generally, in this day and age, people pick up after their dogs immediately and it just doesn’t get to go white.
It got me to thinking. What else will my children just never experience or know, because it’s either been eradicated or phased out. I present you my findings:
Remember when the only way to research and write your school assignment was to consult your local World Book Encyclopaedia? Now our children have the answer to everything at their very fingertips thanks to the internet and Google.
2. Toilet carpet
The genius who came up with this handy home decor inspiration clearly didn’t have boys. Thank god my children will never know the rankness of this creation.
Yeah, so even I didn’t have a pager. It felt like only doctors and the President on the United States actually ever had one of these. Our kids certainly aren’t going to recognise one of these in a lineup.
4. VHS tapes or a VCR
I am strangely nostalgic for VCRs. EVEN though you always had to sit and muck around with the tracking until the fuzzy lines went away and sure, from time to time it ate the tape, they were kind of amazing for their time. They epitomise my childhood and I for one, am sad that my children won’t be using them.
5. Memorising phone numbers
Put it this way, if I lose my phone tomorrow, I’m screwed. I remember my husband’s number, my own number and that’s it. Yet as a kid, I knew my best friends number off my heart, so too my crush’s.
6. Wearing a watch
I haven’t worn a watch in three years. I rarely meet an adult now who does. Yet as a kid, the Swatch was coveted, so too the digital Casio. Now, well now we all look at our phones if we need to know the time. Our kids will never know the sweetness of a watch that not only tells the time, but can also be used as a calculator.
7. Having to wait for their favourite song to come on to radio.
Because you know, they can just download it. I remember sitting for HOURS listening to Barry Bissell’s Take 40 for ‘We Built This City’ to come on so I could tape it and then write it down word for word. My kids will just Google the lyrics.
8. Winding down a car window
9. Learning how to spell hard words.
Most of the time when I don’t actually know how to spell a word, I just type as close as I think and hope to God that Spellcheck or Autocorrect will help me out. I’m unsure what I did in this situation as a kid. Probably just looked foolish. Our kids have no excuses.
10. Sucking on Fags
HOLD UP. I’m talking about the lolly Fags. Remember those? The little cigarette lollies we as children innocently pretended to smoke. The ones that had red tips so that they replicated our parent’s actual cigarettes? Yeah. So now they’re called ‘Fads’ and there is no red tip and certainly no connection between the old name and its implications.
11. Saving information onto a floppy disk.
Remember trying to save something and it took like 7 floppy disks to get it all on there? Or do you, like me, reminisce more about moving that metal bit back and forth when you had nothing better to do? Either way, our kids wouldn’t know what one either looked like or was used for.