"We need to stop apologising for our children."

Since when did we start apologising for kids being kids?

Once again a story has gone viral of some probably very nice folk, from a probably very nice town in America, who did a very nice thing for their fellow passengers in providing them with ear plugs and a very nice little note apologising for the possibility that their 5-month-old twins might cry a little on a recent plane trip.

The “care package”, as the media has dubbed it, contained some earplugs, lollies and a nice little note reading:

“This is our second flight, ever. We came to Michigan to bury our Pops, Marcus Belgrave, and we’d like to apologise in advance if we get scared or our ears hurt on the plane on the way home.

Our parents hope we sleep the whole way … However, to make sure that you’re happy too, please accept this bag as a token of our appreciation for your patience.”

The nice little family packaged them all up and handed them out to all the passengers.

Just in case their babies cried, or vomited, or pooed or any of those other bothersome baby-things that bothersome baby travellers tend to do.

It’s a nice gesture right? I know. I know I should feel that. I know I should feel touched that humanity is so thoughtful and kind. I know I should admire these passengers for their preparedness and quirky ideas.

But I don’t.

Just as the family who did it last year didn’t charm me at all, or the family who did it six months before that or the ones who did it six months before that.

I don’t feel charmed at all by this new way of mollifying fellow travellers. In fact, I feel a little dismayed by it.

What’s the big deal with a baby crying?

Since when did we feel the need to constantly apologise for our kids?

Since when did we feel the need to pre-empt their natural instinct by smoothing the path ahead in case they cry? Pacifying those around us.

Just in case a baby (oh-my-god-no) actually CRIES.

Why should these parents have to go to so much trouble?

I don’t get it.

Babies cry. Babies scream and writhe and sob and shriek. Toddlers have tantrums and belt their little fists and stamp their little feet. Pre-schoolers moan and groan and protest loudly when they don’t get their way.

Even school-aged kids have trouble controlling their emotions sometimes. Because they are well, er, kids.

Kids. Children. Youngsters.

And why the hell should we apologise for that?

This man was so annoyed by a crying baby a few rows away he made a video of it (along with his eye rolls) and uploaded it to YouTube and over 66,000 people have watched it. You can too. Post continues after the crying baby. 

Is it since the rise of social media and online shaming that we fear the judgement of others?

With Facebook the new village square we are bombarded with tales of bad parenting and misbehaving children, does this lead us to be fearful that the next video to go viral will be one of us with (oh the shame) a CRYING BABY?

Here is another crying child on a plane. Post continues after video.

Or is it just that we have become too obsessed with showcasing the perfect life that we despair if there is a slip up?

I know right now there are teams of readers anxious to tell me that I am just an entitled parent who thinks I can get away with badly behaved kids running amok in a plane causing Mr Brown in seat 11B to feel distinctly irritated.

Well you know what my reply is? Buy your own bloody earplugs.

My kids are well past the baby stage but I’ve been that parent.

I’ve walked the length of a plane for six hours with a screaming baby trying everything to stop him bellowing. I’ve muttered excuses and exchanged meaningful glances with others mums. I’ve said sorry.

But what I have learnt after three kids is this: babies on planes laugh and giggle, they hiccup and fart. They reach out and try to knock over drinks and catch their chubby little hands in between seats. They vomit and poo, oh and they cry. Oh how they cry. And I am not sorry for that.

Why should I be?

Our kids have as much right to share a public space with other passengers. We are not entitled or omnipotent – we are just parents getting on with it.

So forgive me if I don't take a sweetly tied parcel of butterscotch and ear plugs for you on my next voyage. Forgive me if the best you get is a sympathetic shrug. Because the fact is, we don’t want our babies to scream either.

What do you think of these care packages parents provide for fellow passengers on planes? A good move or over the top?

Want more? Try:

Is this one place that kids do not belong?

5 things you need when travelling with kids.