Welcome to Mamamia’s Top 20. Over the Christmas/New Year period, we’re counting down the most clicked-on, the most commented-on and the most shared posts from throughout 2012 – the posts that you, our lovely readers, enjoyed the most this year.
Number 19: Keith Urban has an order for his love: it’s Nicole and then his kids. This post was written by LANA HIRSCHOWITZ, who is the editor of iVillage.com.au. Lana asks the question ‘is it OK to love your husband more than your kids?’ And we love her honestly reponse.
“Love grows downwards” a friend once said to me. “You will always love your children more than they love you”
And it’s true. I do love my child more than he could possibly love me. In fact I love him more than anyone I have ever loved before and in a completely different way. It’s an emotion and a feeling so strong that the word “love” doesn’t really do it justice.
Yet every time I tell him that I love him more than anyone else on earth he always asks, without fail, “what about daddy?”
Maybe he’s been chatting with the Urban/Kidman children. Country music star Keith Urban (who we have been, “rediscovering” since he appeared on The Voice) recently spoke to the Australian Women’s Weekly about the love he has for his wife Nicole Kidman and their kids.
“We’re very, very tight as a family unit and the children are our life, but I know the order of my love. It’s my wife and then my daughters. I just think it’s really important for the kids.”
“There are too many parents who start to lose the plot a little and start to give all their love to the kids, and then the partner starts to go without. And then everybody loses. As a kid, all I needed to know was that my parents were solid.”
And I so get it from the children’s perspective. I know that my own child needs to know how much I love his father. It makes him feel safe. Maybe I understand this even more having dealt with the divorce of my own parents at age 10.
There was no doubt my parents no longer loved each other when I was a child, but all I really wanted was that they both love me. Selfish? Maybe. Immature? Probably. Their loving me was going to keep me safe when they no longer had each other.