beauty

"Kate, buy some big pants!" And other helpful advice for a red-faced Duchess.

Columnists are falling over themselves to offer Kate advice on how to avoid another ‘Bum Gate’.

It’s bad enough having just one well-meaning yet overbearing aunty or neighbour who enjoys forcing their advice on you (especially when you haven’t sought it from them).  So spare a thought for Duchess Catherine, who inherited an entire planet full of them when she married Prince William.

Unless you’ve been living in the most remote region of Greenland, you’ve probably heard that Kate had a little ‘gust of wind/lightweight dress’ situation during her Australian tour. We’ve all been there; the only difference is, one photographer just happened to be in the right position at the exact moment, and snapped a photo of the exposed Royal Bum.

Predictably, the photo rocketed around the world following its publication in a German tabloid this week (below) – and the Duchess’ choice of underwear has everyone talking. It seems many are scandalised by a 32-year-old woman’s decision to wear a G-string rather than a pair of Bridget Jones control undies, and can’t help but offer up their advice.

Over at the Daily Mail, Amanda Platell has dedicated just under 1000 words to the cause of Kate's bare derrière, titled 'Please learn to keep covered up, Kate!' "How my heart sank when I saw the Duchess has had yet another embarrassing wardrobe malfunction," Amanda's essay begins. "To make matters more humiliating, Kate appears to be wearing a thong that would make even a cheese cutter wince."

Amanda goes on to outline every incident in which Kate has managed to "show us a part of her body she shouldn't" and ponders what message she's trying to send via her frequent wardrobe malfunctions. Because obviously she's been flashing her bum on purpose to serve as a middle finger to the common people. Kate, you provocateur, you.

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"So Kate, let me give you a little advice ... perhaps it’s time to go for a longer skirt? Or even for a pair of undies that are, shall we say, a little more substantial?" Amanda writes. "Put simply, Kate, we do not expect our future Queen to moon."

Locally, the Daily Telegraph is also offering to teach Kate that 'wind + skirt = equals immodesty disaster of global proportions'. Enlisting the help of a fashion guinea pig model, a flimsy dress and some weights, the newspaper concludes that sewing weights into dress hems - a trick used by the Queen - does indeed prevent flashing.

"I think Kate should give it a go,” model Joanna King contributed. Phew, because we imagine Kate is eagerly seeking fashion advice from media outlets on the other side of the world.

Elsewhere, ink has been spilled over the issue of why Kate wasn't wearing a slip, and whether the Queen is royally peeved at that rogue, bum-flashing granddaughter-in-law of hers.

All this talk about Kate's undies is making us tired. Is it really a big deal? In the words of a very popular kids' book, everyone's got a bottom, and sure, we copped an eyeful of Kate's this week. But isn't it time to move on and stop lecturing a grown woman on what she prefers to wear under her clothes?

The Royal bum aside, here are some of our favourite Kate fashion moments. Click through the gallery and tell us which one is your favourite. 

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