Miranda Kerr just significantly expanded humanity’s spank-bank by declaring herself bi-curious.
Talking to British GQ, the 30-year-old supermodel confessed that she’s open to some bisexual experimentation. “I appreciate both men and women,” she said, probably winking coyly over her bare shoulder during the butt-naked photo shoot.
“I love the female body and truly appreciate the female form. I really enjoy sketching women, especially their backs. I definitely need a man in the bedroom, however — a nice strong chest to lie on. Still, I want to explore. Never say never.”
In the same interview, Miranda revealed that she’s a member of the Mile High Club and likes to ask her lovers for feedback on her ‘performance’ after sex.
This is essentially Miranda Kerr‘s one-woman sexual revolution. Just six months after her split from husband and father-of-her-child Orlando Bloom, 37, Miranda is a sexual debutant. She’s sexy, and she wants you to know all about it.
Miranda’s bisexuality tease has provoked much eye rolling and many questions along with some predictable panting from some parts of the community.
Me? I’m conflicted.
FIRSTLY, is this what a desperate supermodel sounds like? It’s not enough that she gets completely naked; she has to assume the role of Miranda Kerr, Sweet Experimental Lesbian, too? This is obviously a stunt. It’s a calculated raunchy over-share designed specifically to get us all fantasising about Miranda Kerr at approximately the same time we were starting to lose interest in her.
BUT MAYBE it’s just something she blurted out in an interview with a lad’s mag. She shared intimate details of her sex life because she felt cajoled into it by a persuasive interviewer. She’s single now, and maybe Single Miranda wants everyone to know she’s still a sexual being. Plus she’s always been overtly sexual – she’s a professional lingerie-wearer. This is her territory.
AND isn’t it positive for a woman at Miranda’s level of fame to speak so openly and positively about sexual desire? She could even inspire normal people to do the same, and open up about what they like.
Is it cynical to assume that Miranda’s not bisexual? It’s possible she genuinely fancies women, and this is her way of telling the world. It’s possible that she’s made herself vulnerable here, confessing to a new kind of sexual desire. If we dismiss this as a trashy grab for attention, do we risk denying this woman her chance to ‘come out’ as bisexual to the world?
BUT BUT This woman doesn’t make mistakes when it comes to publicity. Everything she says and does has a purpose, and this time the explicit purpose is to re-sexualize Miranda’s image after she became a mother and a divorcee.
Miranda’s an extremely precise, obedient celebrity; the type who knows exactly what she’s allowed to say and when. Neither of Miranda’s previous employers – David Jones and Victoria’s Secret – would have let her do this. She would have had a clause in her contract that said she couldn’t bare her bum like this and talk about sex (even thought Victoria’s Secret features its “Angels” in g-strings and push-up bras, it’s all deliberately sanitised. Hence the “Angel” moniker. They are said to be forbidden from doing naked or semi-naked shoots or from being overtly sexual, lest they alienate Victoria’s Secret’s female customer base).
Revealing that she may be interested in some same-sex loving is a deliberate choice to cultivate a particular type of publicity: the hyper-sexualized gossipy kind that gets her face and booty on every media site in the world. Like Miley Cyrus. And it worked.
SO WHY am I not behind Miranda here, cheering her on? This is why: Because she is a woman who has published two life-advice books for young girls called Treasure Yourself and Empower Yourself. It’s profoundly hypocritical and irresponsible, to imply she’s an empowered woman, when her cultural currency depends on her being naked on the front cover of a magazine (a mag that, while it has some truly excellent journalism, is still a masturbation manual).
Miranda’s a powerful woman finally in control of her own image, and she’s chosen to spend her cultural influence by Treasuring Herself naked, smack-bang right in the middle of the male gaze.
Because Miranda? If you’re looking to experiment with women, they probably won’t be reading GQ.