I didn’t think my sex life was a problem, until this happened.
I’m sexually frustrated, and not in the way that you think. My sexual frustration is that I am sick of hearing these ads for nasal technology that allows your partner to maintain his erection longer. Every single time I hear that, and I mean every single time, I think, “Who would want it to last longer? It lasts too long as it is!”
Yes, I have officially become Miranda in the first Sex & the City movie. She and Steve are having sex for the first time in months and he keeps trying to last longer. She says, “Let’s just get it over with” and he gets upset, walks out of the room and eventually cheats.I'm not as bad as Miranda, I'm not, and I enjoy having sex with my husband but I enjoy it more if it's quick, efficient and gets the job done. Then I can move on to the millions of other things I have to think about and do.
It didn't occur to me that I had a problematic sex life until I spoke to someone who had only been married 4 years to my 15. I've always thought I had a really healthy sex life. My husband and I love each other and have sex most nights, and sometimes in the mornings. What's the big deal if we get in and get out quickly and efficiently?
Well, according to my newly married friend (anything under 5 years is 'newly married' to me) she says we're not really making love, we're not really savouring each other, we're just having sex. I actually rolled my eyes when she said 'savouring' and that's when I realised I might have a problem.
My husband and I used to take one hour on average to have sex/make love. Now it's 15 minutes max, we do things in the same order and only have long, adventurous sex after date nights, every couple of months. But I just don't have time to have sex that lasts this long on a regular basis. There's too much to do and we get too little sleep in the first place.
We're both happy and satisfied, or are we? Have we gotten too used to inadequate sex? Is it my fault that it is rushed? Do we have a problem and if so, what on earth am I meant to do about it?
Do you think I have a problematic sex life? Should I focus on quality instead of quantity? Does quality even matter after 15 years of marriage?
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