We all hear about it. It’s plastered everywhere. We’re all pushed to do it.
The world of “breast is best” but is it?
There are numerous studies to show that breast simply is the best source of nutrition for bub. We get it. We understand it. As soon as you visit the midwife your first pamphlet is breastfeeding. I’m not advocating for mothers not to do it I’m simply saying is it as blissful as they say.
It was a terrible, terrible experience for me. I hated it. Yes I said it – HATED IT.
With Ayden I didn’t really even try. The thought of breastfeeding made me want to hurl. I couldn’t understand what was wrong with me. Everyone else could do it so why couldn’t I? I could watch people breastfeed and I was fine with that. I’ve seen the glowing mother feeding her baby. She looked flawless. Radiant even (ugh).
I get it. I was pathetic for not even giving it a go with Ayden. I was told off numerous people I should breastfeed.
In my head the thought of a child sucking on my tit or latching their precious lips over your breast (whatever term makes you feel better) made me cringe. I already felt like an oversized incubator, why not add a dairy farmer to the long list of names I would call myself.
I knew the benefits of breast feeding. I knew how it decreased SIDS, cancer, obesity etc.
But I couldn’t physically bring myself to do it.
Ayden survived on formula. He survived living off a bottle. I survived. All in all, we survived.
Then in 2012, I had Ivie.
My thoughts had changed slightly. I had discussed my issues I had with my midwife and husband. Though my husband wanted me to breast feed he completely understood my issues and never forced it on me. He knew it was my decision and only I could make it. The midwife didn’t agree but that is ok. They have to advocate for breast feeding.
Ivie finally entered the world. And I started to breast feed. I was there thinking, this is so easy. Man, I was wrong. I had midwives help me. I had more damage to my nipples than a dairy farmer would wish for. It hurt. Really hurt. We got the nipple shields and it did jack shit. Ivie would scream and I would cry. I couldn’t feed my baby. How do you think this makes any mother feel with a new baby? Not only are they in pain they feel useless. They feel as though they failed. They feel alone. Even when you have a 60 year old lactation nurse come in and demonstrate how to breastfeed using her own body as a learning device it doesn’t help.