By NICKY CHAMP
So there you are lying on a white, paper lined table, legs akimbo while a complete stranger smears hot wax around your genitalia and continues to rip it off while casually asking, ‘So, what have you got planned this weekend?’
Nup, nothing strange about that.
If like me, you find the whole bikini waxing process extremely awkward I’ve got some good news.
Introducing the Va j-j Visor, the product your vagina never knew it needed. Until now, obviously.
Think of it as the female version of a cricket ‘box,’ except it’s primary use is for preventing pubic hair grooming injuries.
From the company’s website: “The Va j-j Visor allows you to remove more hair ‘down there’ than you ever thought possible (or perhaps than you ever knew existed!) by protecting your most sensitive skin from depilatory creams, hot wax, razors, and scissors, as well as during laser and electrolysis treatments. It also provides protection during hair coloring ‘down there’.”
(Wait, who’s hair colouring ‘down there?’ Is this a thing now?)
I know what you’re thinking, but how does the Va j-j Visor work? Well, it’s “a soft and flexible cup that covers the inner vulva area and naturally fits the shape of your body,” while apparently “your body’s natural muscular tension holds it effortlessly in place.”
Like I said, good news ladies! You can now make the bikini/brazilian waxing scenario even more awkward by telling your beauty therapist you need a moment before she begins to stick a brightly coloured helmet over your labia.
I don’t have anything against the Va-j-j Visor – except maybe the name – and I’m all for not injuring your lady parts but it does seem like we’re getting a raw deal with all this plucking, tweezing, waxing, depilatory-creaming, colouring, trimming and now donning of labia helmets while the menfolk just turn up to the party au naturel. And that’s not to say you have to do any of those things, bewhiskered and be free if that’s what you want.
I know I’d have a lot less cringe-worthy socially awkward moments in my life to worry about if I skipped visiting the beautician. I’m awkward enough without throwing in semi-nudity, inappropriate topics of conversation and did I mention I’m an introvert?
The first time I got a brazilian wax my body reacted in the most bizarre way to the searing pain, I laughed. And not just a chuckle, a weird hyena laugh. And then my nervous system threw in another fun reaction, perspiration.