If you’re looking for advice about options surrounding fertility, pregnancy or counselling, always consult your doctor.
I’m not going to pretend any more that it doesn’t hurt. I’m not going to pretend any more and be all, “yeh gurlfriend im ok” or #brave with Mother’s Day rolling around this year because the reality is, I’m not okay. It freaking hurts.
I’m tired of being okay about it. I’m tired and totally over the act I put on when I’m with my mates and playing with their kids. It’s freaking HARD sometimes.
I’d like to hide this Mothers Day. I’d like to run away to the hills with my phone off and not see any beautiful “Mother’s Day lunch” family shots all over facey that make my stomach lurch.
Please don’t see this as an “I’m bagging out happy families on Mother’s Day cos I’m clearly an asshole” article, okay? Please just see this as the mini-rant. I am simply getting off my chest on behalf of many women who secretly (and some not so secretly) feel the same way I do.
Some women just want to know they are not alone. You are not, my dear, childless pals. You are not.
Even being asked to write this article (although I'm deeply passionate about sharing my story and always have been especially when it's about helping others feel less alone by sharing my own shoddy shit) made my skin crawl because yet again it's another reminder of another shitty year.
I had a dysfunctional relationship with a guy who didn't really care much about being a dad and there's me, wondering how long I'm going hang on and flog this dead horse, blindly believing that he wanted a family as much as me.