Ah, in-laws. They’re a very tricky topic for couples around the world.
We’ve all debated whether or not they like us, been forced to navigate their excruciating family gatherings, and had them interfere with every little detail of our lives.
We love them really, it’s just sometimes they can be hard work.
Of course, some people lucky enough to get really well with their in-laws, but even that can be problematic.
As part of a recent MumsNet thread, user Stiffanky was struggling with the freedom with which her in-laws come and go.
“We live very near my [husband’s] parents. They are lovely people but seem to not want to use the front doorbell when they call round,” she writes.
“Instead they’ll either just appear at the back door at all times of day or night or, like my father-in-law did this morning at 7:15am, come in through the garage and through the internal door, shouting ‘hello’.
“Is it unreasonable to expect them to use the front doorbell like everyone else? I can’t wander around in my undies in my own house!!”
This sparked much discussion among MumsNet members, debating the etiquette of in-laws around the world.
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“Bloody hell, lock your house up! Lock the garage, internal door and side gate (/install a side gate so people can’t just march round to your back door). Your home sounds pretty insecure,” one commenter replied.
Another suggested shock-therapy might be the key to making the in-laws use the front door.
“Depends how shameless you are. Maybe let him catch you doing naked yoga a few times and he’ll learn?” she said.
Well, that’s one way to get them to knock before they just come on in.
I suggest a nice but firm note pinned on the back door, directing your in-laws to the doorbell and a side of manners.
How do you manage your in-laws popping over unannounced? Let us know in the comments…
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I had this exact same thing happen when my then partner and I bought a house within walking distance to his parents. His mother would come by the house, unannounced, and expect me to drop whatever I was doing and entertain her. And if I was not home? She would wipe her hand along my back (outside) steps and proceeded to tell my partner that I was not keeping the house clean enough! At the time it was taking me two hours each way to get to work, leaving at 6.00am and not getting home til 7.00pm (if the trains ran on time), then making dinner, then organising stuff for the next day. I think she thought I should clean in my sleep. As you can imagine, they were most upset when not only did I ask for the spare key back, but told them they had to call first, before coming over.
I can't quite believe what I'm reading - who think's it's appropriate to just drop by unannounced? It's so rude! You need to lay some ground rules. You're entitled to your privacy and you're entitled to have visitor-free days if you choose too.