real life

"I sell my worn underwear on eBay."

More often than not I’m broke – broke as a joke. One day amidst my penniless sooking someone suggested that to get a bit of extra sweet money I get into selling my dirty knickers on the internet. And I figured why the shit not? I wear underpants every day. If anything I’m getting paid to not do my laundry.

First things first; I made myself an entirely false identity. I do not want some weirdo sniffing my panties while scrolling through my Facebook photos, or worse. This meant new g-mail account and then joining various online ad agencies. I then popped a few ads up online. My ad read:

“Naughty 21yo Selling Dirty Panties
Hi! I’m a sexy 21yo girl looking to sell my dirty panties! I have lace, satin, high waisted, cotton, whatever you want. I will also take special requests. Drop me a line baby. Xx”

Within a day I had responses. Some of these people are really specific with their panty requirements. I had emails reading “Price on red satin panty?” like I was selling car parts. I decided that my starting price would be $50 for a pair of plain cotton undies and anything else would require more cash. For example, a g-string would cost $75, a leotard $100. Then if they wanted me to do things like wear them for more than one day I’d add another $25 or so per.

Once I started communicating with the buyers they would often start getting a bit weird. Lots of them ask for photos, which I decided I would do but without showing my face. I find that most guys will pull the “Send me a photo so I know you’re a girl” and try to get me to send it for free but as if I’m going to send some guy on the internet a picture of myself for free, so I say I’ll send it for an extra $50. I also get asked if I want to meet up with them. A lot.

In the beginning I decided that I would not meet one of these dudes, even if it was in a public place. The fantasy for them is that I’ll be wearing the knickers when I meet them, get the cash, then go into a toilet and take them off to give to them. Adds to the excitement I suppose. I see a lot of possible dangers with this. Who’s to say that they don’t have a friend with them waiting to follow you back to your home or wherever?

Watch the Mamamia team reveal their most awkward sex moments (post continues after video).

Also, seeing as most of these guys ask for weird stuff, who’s to say that they won’t ask you to do something with them once you actually meet them? I had a friend who does meet the guys and she told me on the morning of going to meet this one man, he asked if she could take a dump in the panties before giving them to him. She canceled the meet up.

I’ve gotten my share of unusual requests too. Dudes offering me $200 to go over and give them a blow job and then I also get stuff like this; “Would you do a custom clip of yourself, going to the toilet. How much would that be?”.

I’ve even had guys send me pictures of their home made cock chastity belts and tell me that if I’m a good girl I’d send them a photo of my pink bits too. In a way, it is like a game and playing it on my terms is the only way to make extra cash.

I started trying to push guys into giving me extra cash for stuff. Offering to wear the panties for more than one day, or offering a photo of my sweet vagina for extra dollars. The rule is to keep on top. Don’t submit to anything less than you’re willing to offer. You say jump, they say how high, not the other way around. I’ll make an offer for a picture of my vagina (or the first shot that comes up when you type ‘wet pussy webcam’ into Google image search) for $50.

underwear 2 istock
“I started trying to push guys into giving me extra cash for stuff. Offering to wear the panties for more than one day, or offering a photo of my sweet vagina for extra dollars.” Image via iStock.

Sometimes they’ll say yes and you’re like ‘sweet, fifty clams!’, other times they’ll say it’s too expensive and then even suggest what they would pay fifty big ones for. One guy asked for five photos of me putting in and removing a tampon. That’s when you realise that these kinds of guys are into it for the power play and want to get that one up on you by humiliating you. So, you don’t write back.

Often I wait a day or two and the same guy will be back laying down that cyber fifty straight into your Paypal account for that picture he could have found on the internet for free. In my opinion, most of these guys are just bored dudes with heaps of money. I have no problem with taking advantage of them.

I did consider my position as a woman and a feminist in this world of what could be considered mild prostitution. But as far as the sex industry goes, I feel that this is the safest sex work I could engage in. I also figure that some of these guys are probably sad and lonely and that pheromones are a pretty important thing to experience as a human.

In some cases, buying underpants on the internet may very well be their only buzz. So it’s easier to think of it that way, and to not think about the fact that these guys are probably putting your dirty undies under their pillows, on their faces, wearing them around and rubbing one out into them.

Because that’s when it starts getting weird.

This post has been republished from The Peach with full permission, and was originally published here.

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