I do not want to have children.
When it comes up in conversation, people are shocked by my choice. People who have or want children sometimes seem offended by it. Others brush it off, saying I’ll change my mind someday.
Maybe it’s surprising that I don’t want to start a family – because I am a woman who doesn’t hate children. In fact, I’ve worked with children for years and I’d like to think I’m fairly good at it. I have a tendency to nurture others and cater to their needs.
Not to mention, I present myself in a relatively feminine way, which makes people assume I am straight (spoiler alert: I’m not!) and could bear a child whenever I feel like it (also a faulty assumption).
My experience and personality make it easy to assume that I could be a mother one day.
There are a handful of assumptions people may make when you say that you don’t plan on starting a family, especially if you are a woman.
Some may think you’re immaturely trying to be unique. Others may believe that some experience “ruined” children for you. And there will be people who assume you are a callous kid-hater and/or a workaholic.
Call me crazy, but I don’t know if an immature person going against the grain for shits and giggles should have a kid just yet anyway. And if someone had an experience that led him or her to a decision not to have children, why anyone fault that? Uhh, if someone hates kids, they shouldn’t raise kids. Also, commitment to work isn’t an evil thing.
Even the often-misguided assumptions made about non-parents have validity.
The truth is, if you don’t want to have children for any reason, it’s valid!
The more I think about it, the statement “I don’t want to” is a valid reason in and of itself. Raising children that you didn’t want in the first place is an unhappy situation for everyone.
If you don’t want to have children, you are not wrong, and you are not alone.
Here are five more reasons why it is completely okay to decide not to become a parent:
1. Kids Are Expensive
In the first year alone, a parent can spend thousands of dollars as the sole provider in a small person’s life.
As years go by, diapers and bottles are replaced with school supplies and saving for higher education, if possible. It adds up.
There’s a reason tax forms consider children “dependents”.
For at least 18 years (unless the they become legally emancipated), children rely on their parents for all their needs. That doesn’t even include the fun, millennial trend of graduating college then moving back home with the parents.